Although this post was intended to focus on the cremation of pro wrestler “Big Daddy V;” it’s more about what his wife Cassandra did with his ashes after his death. I saw it as a window from which we could touch upon a big issue for many families: what to do with cremated remains.

I think people have been in a quandary about what to do with the loved ones ashes ever since cremation became widely available. For generations we buried the casketed or shrouded bodies of our family members in an accepted ritual fashion (visitations, funerals, graveside services). That’s not the norm anymore: the U.S. cremation rate is now over 50% (source). Now it’s common to hear stories about families who have boxes of ashes on shelves and garages and in laundry rooms.

Cremated Ashes in the Cupboard

Hey, I’m one of them…I’ll admit it: my ex-husband’s ashes are in a small freestanding “reliquary” cupboard right behind me. The temporary urn has been there for four years.

I can tell you some rather weak reasons — I’m saving them for the time when they can be co-mingled with my own and then scattered. But where? And why? After all, we were divorced almost as long as we were married.

Here’s another ‘more wish than reality’ intention: my ex was an avid scuba diver, and it would be appropriate to have his ashes turned into a reef. That’s a bit expensive, so the thought passes quickly. The bottom line is I don’t know what I really need to do with his ashes; so there they sit.

My indecision is one reason why I’d like look at the question “what to do with cremated remains.” Another is that I know I’m not alone in the dilemma. The phrases “ideas for loved ones ashes” and “what to do with cremated remains” are two popular search terms; tells me that other people really don’t know what they should do with the box of ashes returned to them by the funeral director. Before we go deeper, let’s get back to Big Daddy V’s story.

Nelson Frazier, Jr. “Bid Daddy V” Dies on February 18, 2014

When pro-wrestler Nelson Frazier, Junior, professionally known as “Big Daddy V”, “Mabel,” and “Viscera”, died in 2014 at 43, the event passed unnoticed.

What did catch my eye was what his wife Cassandra did with his cremated remains. In July of that same year, it was announced she had put his ashes into “500 pendants and placed on necklaces, and then she’s going to gift them to his loved ones” (source). The remainder of the ashes went into this beautiful black and gold urn, known as “Black Beauty”.

What a fine idea – memorializing a loved one with cremation jewelry –although this gift giving act was performed on a large scale. Most of us will never have a situation like that arise. Still, it’s a fine example of thinking “outside the box” (pun intended). it’s certainly something any one of us could do: gifting a cremation pendant or keepsake urn to those who’d appreciate it most. What else can you do with cremated remains?

Sometimes though, even though you think it’s a good idea to gift a loved ones ashes in a piece of jewelry, not everyone is on board with it. Over the years, we’ve had customers report that the gift of cremation jewelry backfired when the recipient was less than thrilled with the idea of wearing the decedents ashes around their neck.

Things to Do with Cremated Ashes

Perhaps the most common thing people do with the ashes of a loved one is to scatter them in a special place — or even more than one place. Unfortunately, people often break laws when they scatter ashes.

I can share a story with you: a friend recently arranged a scattering ceremony for her oldest daughter at a local state beach. She didn’t know the legalities of her decision. While nothing was said to her by authorities, it’s always smart to check with the state or local offices and get proper permits.

You’ll find dozens of online articles about what you can do with a loved one’s ashes. One author, Jenn Savedge, The author of a 2016 Mother Nature Network online article made a very good point with her second suggestion: bury or inter the ashes in “a local cemetery or columbarium.”

This is especially important to Catholics, she notes, as the Vatican declared it to be the only option sanctioned by the Catholic Church. The Vatican recently released a statement reminding Catholics that the ashes of the dead should be kept in “sacred places.” They are not to be kept at home or scattered on “unholy ground.” It can be costly though; a columbarium niche can set you back over $700 – and it can cost closer to $3,000 for an urn burial plot depending on where you live.

Another suggestion gets us right back where we started: store them at home. One would hope that you wouldn’t just keep the ashes on a laundry room shelf or in a small cupboard with the table lamp on as in my case. Instead you choose a beautiful cremation urn and you would create a small sacred space in your home where you could memorialize your loved one. (Check out our blog post, “DIY Memorials: How to Create a memorial Shrine” for ideas.)

What other things can you do with cremated remains? Ms. Savedge noted a few others some of which seem a little trendy and maybe not even very smart. I refer directly to her comment that you could turn your loved one into a memorial tattoo. There’s plenty of information on the internet on how this process is achieved. Other ideas included to aforementioned ocean reef thought regarding my ex husband Matt’s ashes; along with suggestions like these:

Blown glass sculptures made in the colorful shapes of spheres or starfish are also popular ways to infuse the cremains into a work of art. It just takes a small amount of ashes and several weeks of production time, but the results are stunning.

• Send them into the wild blue yonder via sky scattering services like Celestis, Mesoloft
• Turn them into a vinyl record using a service like Advinyly.
• Turn them into a diamond via LifeGem or similar service

All of these seen just a bit contrived; and are pretty good evidence that, as a society, we just don’t know what we should do with our loved one’s ashes.

It’s a very personal decision. It’s got to be meaningful; it’s got to be worthy of your loved one’s memory. I’m especially fond of cremation jewelry and there’s certainly nothing more beautiful than a well- chosen cremation urn. If you’re looking for inspiration, be sure to check out the articles in the Urn Garden Learning Center as well as other posts in the Urn Garden blog.

Last month we published Celebrity Cremations: Isadora Duncan, in celebration of the famous dancer’s birthday in late May – and in acknowledgement of her forward-thinking in relation to the practice of cremation. This month, in recognition of July being America’s birthday month, I’d like to look at another of the many celebrities who were cremated – American singer/songwriter and social activist, Woody Guthrie.

Maybe ‘celebrity’ is the wrong word for Woody; ‘celebrated’ is better. His life was the subject of a 1976 film with David Carradine; Bound for Glory; and his prodigious creativity was the focus of the 1999 documentary with Wilco and Billy Bragg, Man in the Sand. Both are well-worth watching and give you a good ‘feel’ for this American icon.

Guthrie is the creator of what are today considered patriotic classics like “This Land is Your Land”, “Roll on Columbia”, and “Pastures of Plenty”. I love him most for his fun, silly, and toe-tapping children’s songs, like “Rattle my Rattle” and “Riding in My Car”. You might be happy to know his son Arlo – along with his family – recorded some of them in “Woody’s 20 Grow Big Songs”.

When he died in 1967, Woody’s family chose to have his body cremated and his ashes scattered in the sea. Interestingly, there’s a cenotaph (a headstone used to commemorate someone whose body is elsewhere) in Highland Cemetery, in Okfuskee County, Oklahoma where he was born.

In tribute to this amazing American, I’d like to close with some of the lesser-known words to
“This Land is Your Land”

As I went walking, I saw a sign there,
And on the sign there, it said “Private Property.”
But on the other side, it didn’t say nothing!
That side was made for you and me.
In the squares of the city, in the shadow of a steeple,
By the relief office, I’d seen my people.
As they stood there hungry, I stood there asking,
Is this land made for you and me?

Guthrie used his song-writing skills as a social and political tool for change during a time of great poverty and unrest in our country. I, for one, am proud to share a common national heritage with this remarkable man.

Source:

This Land is Your Land

We follow a group on Facebook that is made up of local photographers that capture great images of amazing Missouri wildlife. Great shots of some of my favorite birds, owls, bluebirds, and of course, eagles. They are active and easier to see this time of year. Lately, we’ve been so inspired by wildlife artists and the beauty of mother nature even though everything around us is dormant. We can watch for clues that spring is coming.

Linda Shannon Morgan is one of my favorite local wildlife photographers and she’s been getting some amazing shots of the eagles and owls on her property.

In addition to the eagles, around here, the skunks are active. It’s mating season and doesn’t’ exactly inspire me. The eagles do. We’re accumulating a collection of eagle themed urns that people can use to create a personal memorial for a loved one that has spread their wings.

Eagle Box for Ashes

The box style urn is good for the niche at the columbarium, sometimes those spaces are tricky and the vase shape urn won’t always work, as they are often too tall. This photo style urn can be altered later if you desire, and want to change the photo out and replace with a choice from your own collection.

Sky King Eagle Cremation Urn for Adult

This eagle urn is a beauty, metal with glossy finish in sunset colors. In addition to the adult size, this also comes in a matching mini size to safely store a bit of cremated remains, lock of hair or other small memento.

Bald Eagle Keepsake Urn

This little sculpture urn is so well done. Hand painted with jeweled wings, the top lifts to reveal a small storage compartment that will store a tiny memento.

People around here get excited when the eagles start moving in and setting up the nest. When I think of eagle characteristics, I think of power first of all. Those wings. Courage and determination, which you can clearly see if you check out this battle between an eagle and a fox.

Fox Spirit Guide Miniature Keepsake Urn

Great photos and reminded me of the ancient fable. Red fox are what we see around here most of the time. There is a family of them living in the valley around the corner from my place. It’s mating season for them too and I’ve heard reports from neighbors saying they can hear the foxes barking and sometimes screaming at night.

Even though this critter is known to be a little crafty, we were inspired by the fox, because some Native Americans believe that the fox can be a spirit guide in the final journey to the other side.

So, to honor the spirit of the fox we’ve created a little keepsake urn that can be used to store a pinch of ash, maybe a ring or some little trinket that you want to save. For those that want to store some ashes, often it’s with the intention that they are going to spread or bury the ashes at a later date. It’s not a bad idea for a temporary solution, or at least maybe hold until spring and plant some flowers….

Today’s lesson? Depending on where you are, it might be bleak, but look up!  Look around. Look past the grey skies and dead trees. The world is alive.

Scattering Ashes on a Cruise

Hyler and Pam Cooper are experienced cruisers and this year they rang in the new year on a Norwegian cruise ship headed for the Bahamas. This trip was a little different from past vacations; this year the couple performed an ash scattering ceremony while at sea. Not just one set of ashes, there were two. Hyler’s brother Rob died suddenly in 2016 at the age of 58. When they went to California to clean out his place and collect his personal belongings they discovered the ashes of Rob’s partner, Juan who died 10 years earlier.

According to Pam, “Both Rob and Juan were conscious of our earth’s environment and had made the decision to be cremated.”

“Rob shared with me during one of our talks, that he regretted that he and Juan didn’t get to take a cruise together.  Hyler and I loved sailing the Caribbean and we knew that Juan and Rob would have loved it too. We discussed it and made the decision that we could give Juan and Rob their cruise and let them spend eternity together in a warm tropical place.”

Pam did contact Juan’s family to get their blessing to carry out this plan. Next, she contacted Norwegian Cruise Lines:

“First, I sent an email to Norwegian and asked if they would accommodate scattering of ashes.  They emailed me back and told me that scattering of ashes was a common request and they often helped people with this type of request.  There are certain restrictions.”

1. The remains must be in a biodegradable container for ashes
2. Dispersion has to take place in international waters.
3. The environmental officer of the ship must be present.

“My next thought was, ‘How do I get the ashes to the ship?’  I went to my airline carrier and typed “human remains” in the search box.  It specified that human remains can travel in carry-on if there is no metal surrounding the ashes. Otherwise, they must be packed into checked baggage.  We chose to pack the remains in our checked baggage.  Two sets of ashes added about 20 pounds to the weight of our suitcase.”

“I did have to open the containers from the funeral home before we left our home in Dallas to see how the remains were packaged.  Both were inside of a sealed container with a plastic bag holding the contents. They traveled in those bags inside a plastic container for the trip.”

You Must Clear Scattering of Ashes With the Cruise Line

A service of this nature absolutely has to be cleared by the cruise line. Pam says, “The cruise line was very sensitive to our feelings. They provided a covered table at the back of the ship.

Two of the ship’s officers attended along with my brother and sister in-law. We read a poem, said our farewells and then dropped the box into the ocean.”

The cruise line provides a certificate that provides:

Name(s) of the Departed
Name of the Ship
Date of the Memorial
Time of the Memorial

Position
Latitude
Longitude
Distance from shore
Depth of the water

Prior to this ceremony, Hyler and Pam had a funeral and celebration of life for Rob in California, where he resided. The memorial service at sea was a beautiful send off.

Thanks to Hyler and Pam sharing their story.

Ah, the ocean breeze. Can you feel it? It feels refreshingly cool on your skin. You look out at the ocean and marvel at its expansiveness. Now, here at the end of summer, we often find ourselves reminiscing about blissful, carefree summer afternoons spent at the seaside. If you have memories like these and would like to honor a loved one with an ocean ash scattering ceremony, these bio urns could be a perfect choice.

I love the muted colors of the Aqua Shell Deep Water Burial Urn, the Sand, and the Coral Deep Water Bio Urn. All three biodegradable shell urns are hand-painted and made from recycled and earth-friendly materials.

These are ideal for ash dispersal from either a boat, a paddle out, or the shore. They are engineered to float for approximately five minutes before descending through the water gracefully.  The shell is oversized to include space for personal notes, mementos and is large enough to hold two sets of cremains.

If you’d like to know more about bio urns, read our online article “Biodegradable and Green Burial Cremation Urns: Making an Impact”.

And finally…here’s that sneak peek I mentioned in the close of our The End of Summer Series: Seashell Cremation Jewelry post: one of our most beautiful shell cremation urns: the Bronze Sea Shell.

It’s hand-crafted in the United States, using the lost wax method of casting. In July, 2017, Mark left this remarkable review on the shell that he bought: “It’s a beautiful piece of art.” I couldn’t agree more!

I think all our bronze urns are breathtakingly beautiful. Visit our bronze art gallery to see for yourself! This is why I’m going to feature this sea shell urn, among many others, in October’s series on bronze sculpture that doubles as secure storage for human ashes.

Not everyone wishes to be buried in a casket or cremated and their ashes held in an urn after they die. Some prefer to have their cremains scattered in a place that is both meaningful and memorable. And why shouldn’t they? Scattering one’s ashes is becoming more common because people are realizing there are more options available when it comes to making final arrangements.

When a person is cremated, his or her ashes are typically placed in an urn and buried like a casket or put on display in a loved one’s home or garden. Likewise, a portion of the ashes can be put in a piece of cremation jewelry or used in artwork or memorial tattoo. The remainder of the ashes, many times, are scattered.

The location selected to scatter one’s ashes depends on they desired ceremony. There are special scattering urns designed for this. They easily open on one end and allow you to carefully sprinkle the ashes without spilling them or having to touch them. These urns also allow to disperse only the amount of cremains you wish.

You can scatter ashes anywhere allowed by state and local laws, as they vary from region to region on both land and water. They can be strewn over a favorite sports park, golf course or hiking trail, as well as in a garden or where a memorial tree can be planted. You can also scatter ashes in the ocean or in a small lake. Regarding sea burials, federal law requires that you go three miles from shore to release the ashes to avoid the urn washing up on the beach. In many coastal areas, you can charter a boat that specializes in this type of service and there are cremation urns that are biodegradable and designed for use in the water that are ideal for this type of memorial celebration.

Remembering, deciding to scatter a loved one’s ashes is a very personal choice and should be the wish of the person who has died. If this ceremony wasn’t planned before the person died, make sure everyone involved is in agreement with this decision.

It’s so good to see the vibrant colors of summer as the roses bloom and their sweet fragrance fills the air. Since June’s birth flower is the rose, you could use this flower as inspiration for creating a memorial service that honors a June birthday, or simply to symbolize and express the love the family felt for the deceased.  You could plant a rose bush as a living memorial, scatter rose petals along with the ashes, incorporate an arrangement or wreath of roses in the loved one’s favorite color, or choose one of the many cremation urns that feature the image of a rose.

Rose petal color can be used to express the symbolism in the language of flowers.

• Red: Romantic
• Pink: Admiration or Grace
• Dark Pink: Gratitude and appreciation
• Light Pink: Sweet and innocent
• White: Pure, friendship
• Yellow: Caring and friendship
• Orange: Passionate
• Burgundy: Beauty
• Black: Death and farewell

Earlier in the month of June, Urn Garden released a couple of new styles of urns featuring the beauty of the rose.

The Kindred Rose Urn is a combination of pink, red, and creamy white antique roses on a neutral background. Secure metal urn with threaded lid is suitable for either display or burial.

Midnight Rose is a metal urn with a highly polished finish and glowing mother of pearl inlay. This urn also comes in a ruby red finish.

Another popular option is the Tear Drop Rose urn jewelry designed to hold a trace amount of ashes or other small keepsake.
More cremation urns, jewelry, and keepsakes featuring the everlasting beauty of the rose can be found at Urn Garden.

Turtles have always fascinated and repulsed me. There’s something about these prehistoric creatures that captivate. It’s turtle season in this part of the country. Usually by Memorial Day the turtles are moving, but Spring was late this year and we’re just now having to dodge slow moving turtles on the road in rural areas.

After a recent weekend at the lake I was amazed to see all the turtles in the water and sunning themselves on the rocks.

My grandfather lived in the country and would rescue turtles on the road, number their shells with nail polish and turn them loose on his farm.

This guy was a familiar face on my daily walk and I think he also ran a turtle rescue in the neighborhood.

Last summer we had a client who ordered a bronze cremation urn for her husband who died while on vacation in Idaho. Her grown children picked the turtle urn because they felt the qualities of patience, perseverance and strength that were representative of their father were symbolized by this ancient creature. They wanted the best for their dad, and only a bronze urn would do.

Some Eastern cultures believe that the turtle unites heaven and earth with the top of the turtle shell as heaven and the square on the bottom the earth while Native American lore uses the turtle as a symbol of land and water.

For families that want a small keepsake as a reminder of their loved one and are drawn to the symbolism of the turtle there is also an urn pendant that can be worn on a chain or as a charm on a bracelet.

This pendant will only hold a tiny bit of ash and should not be worn while swimming.

There’s also a paper turtle that is a small urn designed for an ash scattering ceremony in water.

The urns are made in Mexico from newspaper and paper bags and holds a set of adult ashes.

In The Mailbox: One of our clients sent a nice note thanking us for our assistance and the recommendation of a Weeping Cherry for a tree dedication. The Weeping Cherry is one of my favorite ornamental trees and a stunning centerpiece for a memorial tribute. Check your zone out on a garden map, the Weeping Cherry does best in zones 5-8.

Added bonus for the Weeping Cherry tree is they are generally pest and disease resistant and don’t require a lot of pruning.

Here’s an example of a tree dedication, using a personalized river rock garden stone and a Weeping Cherry tree to honor Dave. Simple and elegant.

And then this:

Dear Lenette,

Thank you so much for all that you did to make Nelda’s memorial service even better than she had planned it.

I have always felt that the worst part of any funeral is the time when you leave the cemetery and leave behind someone you loved and have spent a lifetime with. Thanks to your generosity, I brought Nelda home with me and that was such a comfort at a very bad time.

The urn was beautiful (“bee-u-tee-full”, as Nelda would say) and M. loves and cherishes her urn necklace.

Thank you for letting us serve you.

If you are shopping for the product that NO ONE wants to buy, you’ve come to the right place to find affordable cremation urns for ashes. Whether you plan a burial in the cemetery or scatter or spread the ashes you should be able to find an affordable memorial urn here. Many of the heavier metal styles are attractive enough to display in the home.

We’ve marked down many of our cremation urns in an answer to families who are searching for “cheap urns”. These urns are cheap only in price compared to the funeral home or other online retailers. These are secure, quality urns that are either overstocked, discontinued, or sales samples.

Popular styles are the brass mother of pearl and the golden engraved urn. These urns are the same styles that are sold in the funeral homes but are older styles that are being phased out.

We have several pages of discount urns and urns on sale, including our metal cremation urns with secure threaded lids, as well as the popular biodegradable tubes designed for scattering ashes.

Any questions? Please call for personal service.