Way back when we launched the urngarden.com site, we tried to focus on inspirational people and images that would lift us up out of the darkness and hopefully inspire others too.

My grandmother was one of the most impactful people in my life both personally and professionally, Our business name, Urn Garden came from her habit of creating memorial gardens when a loved one died. Back then, she lived on a large farm out in the country and she would dedicate a special planting on her property to honor that person. These spaces were tastefully arranged with flowers, shrubs, or statutory and did NOT look like a graveyard.

Later, she sold the farm, did a major downsize and moved to a condo in town, where she was closer to family and friends. She had a postage stamp size yard still full of flowers, but with more time on her hands, she started amassing a collection of bird figurines, that soon covered every surface in the house.

We joked about it, glad that it was inanimate objects, and not cats, so we christened her place “The Fowl House”. On one visit, as I sat on the couch in her front room, I started counting the birds within sight. I stopped at 100. It had become an obsession.

That’s how we came up with the Bird and Butterfly collection of cremation urns (she liked butterflies, too) because of how bird crazy she was. She believed that if you loved it, you better put a bird on it.

Cardinals were probably her favorite, and the Cardinal on Dogwood urn for ashes is a tribute to her. This urn is so beautiful and the old saying that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Recently, this style has been copied by imposters, so just know that when you buy from us, know that it’s the original design created by Americans that care about your family, and we can offer professional engraving services as well.

For years my grandparents were members of the Silver Eagles and went to conventions and made many friends from around the country. Soaring Free Eagle Cremation Urn is another style that we launched to honor that history.

My dear grandmother peacefully died in her sleep three years ago and at her memorial service we put that bird collection out for the guests to take as a keepsake. We were surprised at the turn out, many came from out of town, but she had made a huge impact on others lives as well. I miss her every day. I was lucky enough to inherit a few pieces of her jewelry, one favorite is a chunky turquoise bracelet that I wear when I want to feel the weight of her presence. Before she died, she had made a quilt that I sleep with every night and it feels like a hug. I miss holding hands with her and her gentle loving spirit.

As I’m typing this, a cardinal is perched on a dogwood branch, right outside my window. I can’t tell if it’s a male or female, but that bird is super chirpy this morning. Maybe that’s a sign?

Anyway, imagine my surprise, when I received a handwritten thank you note from a client. This is a rare and welcome gift, as I consider the act of writing a thank you note a dying art. This came from the heartland of America, so that gives me hope. This family in Kansas had recently held a memorial service for their mom who was also known as a sister, aunt, grandmother, cousin, and friend.

The cardinal must have meant something to their family as well, because in addition to ordering the cardinal cremation urn, they created a funeral program which featured a poem with a picture of a cardinal. Not gonna lie, I was so touched by not only the gesture, but the poem really spoke to me and I felt myself even get a little misty as I read the words. They reminded me so much of dear Etta, my grandmother. I want to share them with you, too and hope it brings you comfort.

Red Feathered Soul

When you’re lost or feeling down,

Don’t despair, just look around

God made me red so you would see,

I still exist outside your memory.

I make my visits in bright daylight,

You’ll hear my son in distant flight,

My cardinal song is a call to you,

To tell you that I miss you too.

I am everywhere and finally free,

Like love you cannot touch or see,

You’ll see me in the trees and skies,

I didn’t leave, love never dies.

Elle Bee

Albert Einstein died of heart failure, April 18th, 1955. Just two days later, on April 20th, his body was cremated in ‘strict privacy” at the Ewing Cemetery & Crematorium in West Trenton, New Jersey.

The cremation was witnessed by “about a dozen scientists and close friends and his son, Dr. Hans Albert Einstein, professor of engineering at California Institute of Technology.” His ashes were later scattered on the grounds of the Institute for Advanced Study, in Princeton, New Jersey. He was one of the Institute’s first Faculty members; teaching there for over 20 years (1933-1955). (Source)

Before the cremation, Einstein’s “brain and vital organs were removed for scientific study” (source). There’s a fascinating side-story about this aspect of Einstein’s after-death care, told in the National Geographic’s, “The Tragic Story of How Einstein’s Brain Was Stolen and Wasn’t Even Special“, by Virginia Hughes. Today, after a long and winding journey, portions of his brain are housed in the collections of the Mütter Museum in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; and the National Museum of Health and Medicine, in Silver Springs, Maryland.

Einstein’s Legacy
I was just 10 months old the day Einstein died – obviously oblivious to the sorrow felt by millions around the world. It wasn’t until years later that I came to understand something profound: thanks to this one man’s thinking, most notably his theory of relativity (E = mc2) and the law of the photoelectric effect –the world my parents and I were born into was very different from that of the previous generation.

Like Galileo did hundreds of years before, Einstein changed everything. He just 26 when four of his published papers electrified the field of physics and made his name familiar around the world. We continue to put their theories to the test; just last year, Newsweek published “Einstein and Galileo Theories Tested in Space and Prove Everything Always Falls at the Same Rate”, illustrating how, even long after death, these great intellects drive our understanding of the universe.

On a More Personal Note
Einstein changed the world on a very personal level, too. At 40, my youngest son – who was about 6 at the time – voiced a need for ‘spiritual training.” Having been raised by agnostics, I had no idea where to turn – but was inspired by Einstein’s contention that Buddhism was the faith for the 20th century. I called Vajrapani Institute, our local Buddhist retreat center and we began studying under their guidance. It wasn’t until later that I learned the many Einstein quotes on the subject floating around the web are bogus; but honestly, it didn’t matter much. I was happy with my decision, and remain a practicing Buddhist today.

A Closing Thought

His obituary in the New York Times, “Dr. Albert Einstein Dies in Sleep at 76; World Mourns Loss of Great Scientist, featured a memorable comment by his biographer, Dr. Phillip Frank: “The world around Einstein has changed very much since he published his first discoveries, but his attitude to the world around him has not changed,” He has remained an individualist who prefers to be unencumbered by social relations, and at the same time a fighter for social equality and human fraternity.” Certainly, I think you’ll agree, he was a gift to us all.

By the way, this is just one in an on-going series of posts on celebrity cremations. The most recent profiled American songwriter Woody Guthrie, Previous to that post, I profiled another uniquely American treasure, dancer, Isadora Duncan.

The date has come and gone, but May 27th, 2018 is the birthday of Isadora Duncan. Born in San Francisco in 1877, she became a world famous choreographer, dancer, and instructor, “whose emphasis on freer forms of movement was a precursor to modern dance techniques.” (Source)

But, Isadora wasn’t just a trailblazer in the world of dance. In making the end-of-life choices she made, Isadora furthered the growth and acceptance of cremation as an alternative to traditional burial. It began it 1913, when her two children accidentally drowned, she decided to have their bodies cremated.

Their ashes were interred in the Cimetière du Père Lachaise, in Paris (where they were living at the time). Choosing cremation at the time was remarkably ‘modern’ and totally in character with Isadora’s personality and approach to life.

When Isadora died in an automobile accident fourteen years later (on September 14, 1927), the decision was for her body to also be cremated. The ashes were interred next to her children, Deirdre Beatrice Craig, who was six at the time of her death, and Patrick Augustus Singer, who was only three years of age on that fateful April day in Paris.

In the months to come, I’ll look at other celebrities who were cremated. Believe me when I say there were additional wonderfully talented and intelligent women –acrtresses Bea Arthur, Virginia Dwyer, Adriana Caselotti, and Lana Turner, to name just a few – who flew in the face of convention by choosing cremation over traditional burial.

Image source: Wikipedia

Recently, we sold a solid bronze lighthouse cremation urn to a client in Long Beach, NY who is trying to rebuild her life and refurbish her home in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.

Amid the stress and anxiety of an oncoming storm, her husband was dying at home and did not want to leave despite the mandatory evacuation notice.

She lives several blocks away from the beach, and eventually the water crept in. The house got cold after the power went out, and that’s when reality set in.

Without electricity and no generator, they had to move.

He died three weeks later.

He was fit, funny, mentally strong, in the prime of his life. Living the dream within blocks of a sandy beach with a beautiful wife. A year later, she’s dealing with the insurance company for both her home and his life.

They say it can take up to three years for a community to recover after a wicked storm or natural disaster. Just this week, three new schools opened in Joplin, MO, three years after the devastating tornado that killed 161 people. Kudos to Google who seems to be revisiting communities after the landscape changes. On street maps for Long Beach, you can see still tarps on rooftops and lots of earth movers parked on the beach.

Bronze Lighthouse Urn, The Perfect Tribute

She’s moving forward and a year later decided that a lighthouse would be the perfect tribute to her husband. He was an attention to detail guy and appreciated quality. She selected the best, a bronze sculpture urn that will last forever on the fireplace mantle.

She commented that it was so solid, that she’d never have to worry about it breaking if it fell off the shelf. The construction and care that goes into our bronze far exceeds the inexpensive imports that use alloys to create a hollow shell.

In addition to urns, this US foundry creates massive memorial pieces for parks, churches, and schools. Fun fountains for Disney, and custom statues and busts.

Sand Dollar and Starfish Urn Memorials

Other survivors of that brutal storm have purchased memorials on a smaller scale, like the Sand Dollar Ash Pendant and the Starfish blown glass memorial. Small and personal, this jewelry is a discreet way to personalize a tribute.

We’re here to help, if you have questions.

Our town suffered a blow last week when an Amber Alert was issued for 10 year old Haley Owens.

Alert neighbors witnessed the kidnapping and reported the license number that resulted in an arrest. Haley’s body was found a few hours later. The crime rocked and shocked our city. As tragic as the story is, it’s been an interesting study of how social media played out in the apprehension of the suspect, reporting of the crime, and finally, the memorial service that took place last night.

A candle light vigil was held in the downtown area for Haley and estimates are that over 10,000 mourners turned out for this event, many wearing Haley’s favorite colors pink and purple. There were rumors that a certain Baptist church from Kansas would be there protesting, and there were hundreds of bikers on hand to support the family. There was no need for protection, as it was a peaceful assembly to celebrate the life of an innocent child. Many long term members of this community have commented that they have never seen such a large group come together as a show of strength here. In addition to the memorial funds that have been set up, there has been a motorcycle ride, a poker tournament, chili suppers, and waitresses at several restaurants donating tips to the family in effort to raise funds for the family. It’s been a generous outpouring from the community like I’ve never seen. Rest in Peace, Haley.

Marjorie Sims was an inspiration. At 90 she still managed her rental business, drove and came to the fitness center every day to swim. She always had a purse full of starlight mints that she would flip to whoever was on duty at the desk. She was also a poet and had a thick three ring binder full of her work that she would share with friends and family.

I’ve had a wonderful life and I’ve had a lot of fun

But now it is time for me to say goodbye

For eventually we all have to die

I’m leaving many relatives and friends behind

Whom I hope they all remember me

as being loving and kind

I have really enjoyed all of my many years

So, if you miss me don’t shed any tears

But know that just to meet you was a pleasure to me

And many fond memories there are sure to be

I know I have found a beautiful resting place

And someday we will all meet again face to face.

We all had a good laugh when she got her first traffic ticket at age 88 for speeding on the way to the beauty shop. Marjorie loved bluegrass music and a couple of weeks ago her and a friend headed for the small town of Oldfield for a jam session. While waiting in line for a piece of pie, she collapsed and died. The only thing that would have made a sweeter departure would be if she would have died while eating pie.

So it was even sadder news when family members were burgled while attending Marjorie’s funeral on Saturday morning. One of the family members security cameras recorded one of the suspects in the driveway.  I’d heard of this happening but had never known anyone personally that it happened to. If you are looking for a way to pay respects to a family, consider the gift of your time to house sit while they attend the funeral.

Father’s Day is quickly approaching and for those whose dads are no longer alive, a sadness is cast over the day. My father died unexpectedly in 2001 at the young age of 73. He was very sick and found out it was cancer, but it was too late to do anything about it. He passed away within a week or so of the diagnosis.

I am his youngest daughter out of eight children, and I live the furthest away. As a born and bred Ohioan, he was very true to his faith and himself. He struggled and worked very hard throughout his life to provide a home for his family. I know it wasn’t always easy, but he did his best.

When I got the call that he was in the hospital, life stood still. My mother was out here in California visiting, so she flew home immediately. I went back a few days later when things were looking grim. I wanted the chance to say good-bye. I remember sitting at his bedside, talking about my family, which at the time consisted of only my husband and I. The previous year, my daughter passed away at birth, so I was all too familiar with the pain and grief of losing a close family member.

He asked me when we were going to try again for another child, specifically a grandson. I told him when the time was right, we would try for another baby. I don’t remember much of the conversation, although it turned out to be our last. He had surgery the following morning and slipped into a coma. He died three days later.

After the funeral, the words of him wanting me to have another baby rang through my soul. I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe it was time. And it was. Two days after his funeral, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. She’s feisty, loves Johnny Cash music and dislikes pizza — all of the qualities that stood out in my father. If I didn’t believe in the circle of life, I did the day she was born. As for the grandson he wanted me to have? He came along a few years later and carries my father’s name as his middle name very proud!

About the author: Mary Beth Adomaitis is a freelance writer living in Southern California with her husband and two living children. After her daughter’s death in 2000, she began writing about Death and Dying topics as a way helping others going through the tragic loss of a child. She can be reached at mba317@mac.com

On this Father’s Day weekend, my father is much on my mind — oddly, because that wasn’t the case when he was among the breathing, and I haven’t thought much about him since his death, seven years ago this month.

Last month I wrote:

He was sensitive, almost to a fault. He was caring and giving. He was cold and unyielding. He was a charmer and a cruel man, heartfelt and heartless.

I pulled out this photo, this memento mori, for a couple reasons. It is the only picture I have of my father and the three sons he had with my mother; my father’s wife pulled out her camera not long after we had all arrived and said, “This will be the last time you boys are together with your daddy.”

If I do not understand him or make my peace with him I’ll be stranded in the thorny forest and the boon will elude me. This I know for certain…

About the author: Ron Davis is a writer and news producer and resides in Springfield, MO.

In The Mailbox: One of our clients sent a nice note thanking us for our assistance and the recommendation of a Weeping Cherry for a tree dedication. The Weeping Cherry is one of my favorite ornamental trees and a stunning centerpiece for a memorial tribute. Check your zone out on a garden map, the Weeping Cherry does best in zones 5-8.

Added bonus for the Weeping Cherry tree is they are generally pest and disease resistant and don’t require a lot of pruning.

Here’s an example of a tree dedication, using a personalized river rock garden stone and a Weeping Cherry tree to honor Dave. Simple and elegant.

And then this:

Dear Lenette,

Thank you so much for all that you did to make Nelda’s memorial service even better than she had planned it.

I have always felt that the worst part of any funeral is the time when you leave the cemetery and leave behind someone you loved and have spent a lifetime with. Thanks to your generosity, I brought Nelda home with me and that was such a comfort at a very bad time.

The urn was beautiful (“bee-u-tee-full”, as Nelda would say) and M. loves and cherishes her urn necklace.

Thank you for letting us serve you.

The digital age has given most people the freedom to say whatever they want, whenever they choose. When something good — or bad — happens, you can let hundreds of people know about it in a matter of seconds through texting, making a cell phone call, or posting a status update on a social network. What about when a friend or family member dies? Is it OK to write an email, send a text, or compose a status update of condolence? Has technology made it simpler for people to communicate to the point that a simple text of “I’m sorry” overrules the tradition of sending a sympathy card or note? Or has this form of communication become so acceptable that other means are now too antiquated?

It is true that the art of a handwritten note or letter has been lost to e-mail. It not only saves a tremendous amount of time, but money thanks to rising postal costs. Often, though, it is OK to send a brief condolence (two or three sentences) this way. For example, if your friend lost her mother to cancer, it is fine to send an email expressing your sympathy. However, don’t send an email condolence to a person whose loved one died if you’ve never communicated this way with him or her. It is not only inappropriate, but shows a lack of consideration on your part.

You should never text a condolence to someone. It’s too informal for such a serious matter. Also, posting or sending a brief condolence publicly on a social network is a no-no unless the death has already been formally announced this way by a family member. Frequently, a link to the online obituary may accompany this announcement so it’s OK to comment or even sign the guest book.

Finally, any sympathy message sent digitally should always be followed up with a personal card or letter. Even if you’ve acknowledged the loss earlier, it’s best to do so again in writing. Make sure you also express your sympathy, include a memory of the deceased (if possible) and end with a thoughtful phrase, poem, or other kind words.

The recipient of the note in the image above said “This letter from my late mother’s doctor changed my life.”