Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

Confessions

Where do White Squirrels Go When They Die?

To Wisconsin of course! From Roadside America:

In Sam Sanfillippo’s funeral home basement in Wisconsin, we’ve noticed a large number of albino squirrels among perky dead animal dioramas. They ride motorcycles and jeeps, shoot hoops, party in bars. There are more here than in all the wildlife museums and taxidermy collections we have visited.

Sam tells us about acquaintances he had made through a fraternal organization in the town of Marionville, Missouri, a well-established Mecca of albino squirrels. When they discovered his passion for animal dioramas, they volunteered to send him a batch — “the ones that had been hit by cars or died of heart attacks or whatever.”

In other animal news, I was visiting a friend recently who asked if I wanted to see her new pet rat. Uhhh- no thanks. Why would you get a rodent for a pet? She says he’s super smart, cute, and the kids love him. I only want to see a rat…..on a trap or in an urn.

Quick garden update: The Irish Spring experiment seems to be working as a non-toxic cat repellent. The soap shavings are not that attractive in my flower beds, especially after a rain. Next, I’m trying the liquid version in a spray bottle. Although, seems like I read that the bar soap is the best. We’ll see.

Inspiration this week comes from a 78 year old lady at the gym. A couple of years ago, she slowly shuffled in every day to exercise, clearly had some balance issues, but was dedicated to her daily workout. Saw her for the first time in a while yesterday, lifting weights, and had physically been transformed. Solid core strength, better balance. She looked amazing and so much stronger. There is hope for all of us.

I did have to snap her with my towel, when she guessed my age at ten years older than I really am.

Back Yard Memorial Gardens

UrnGarden Greeting

Many of our clients are keeping the cremated remains of their loved ones close….in the home or on the property. Today, we’re sharing some examples of loving tributes created by real people. My grandmother, Etta introduced me to the healing and restorative powers of memorial gardens when she lost her husband and son.

At the time, Etta lived in a rural area and had the space to create her memorial garden. She chose a military theme to honor her husband and son’s service in the Navy.

urngarden memorial garden

Not the greatest photo, but you get the idea. Several years later, we packed her up and moved her closer to the family in a condo right in the middle of town. The fountain was sold at an auction, but the remainder of the garden was transplanted to the men’s burial site.

Apartment dwellers and other urbanites may not have the luxury of a small space for planting, but there are other alternatives and we’ll cover those tomorrow. For more information on creating a loving memorial garden or tribute, visit our site urngarden.com

Other examples:

“What I did was set up bird feeders because Eddie so loved his birds. I remember on the morning of his death- it was just daybreak- and as they carried his body to the ambulance, the birds were singing everywhere! Everyone noticed. It seemed the birds sensed something was very different and were saying goodbye (or maybe hello) to him.”

“My husband died very young of a chronic illness. His acceptance of his death was beyond understanding. He asked that his ashes become “part of the good earth”. He died on the vernal equinox. On the summer solstice, our family planted a flowering crab tree, one he always wanted, with his ashes mixed into the roots. Our oldest son graduated from high school one year later, and we took pictures of him in his cap and gown with “Dad”, who was blossoming beautifully. As long as they live, this will always be “Dad’s tree.”

Our tree dedication stones are an excellent way to dedicate your sacred space.

For those without the room or the ability to create an elaborate, in-ground garden, a patio or indoor pot can be planted instead. A simple potted planting can be just as meaningful as more complex garden. Bend a wire coat hanger into the shape of a heart and secure in potting soil. Plant a climbing vine that you can train to grow up the wire. Rosemary symbolizes remembrance, English Ivy friendship are easy plants to train into a topiary form.

Today’s tip for better living: Tell everyone special to you that you love them!

Cherish the Memory

Yesterday, we covered various ash scattering techniques. As the cremation rate climbs, people are looking for creative and memorable ways to carry out the wishes of their loved one regarding their remains. Although many take home their loved ones ashes in a crematory urn , it is estimated that 21.7% plan on scattering the remains at some point, up from 17.8% in 1997. For this reason, planning a ceremony for the scattering of ashes is an important aspect of consideration.

Since many funeral home directors include scattering services in their funeral packages, it brings up ideas that many traditional-minded families may not have considered. This is a time that decision making can be difficult and overwhelming,and given that the ceremony is one that is ingrained in one’s memory, the choice is important because it is often the only opportunity that you will have to honor the loved one and the life that you shared together.

When choosing ash scattering as the method of cherishing the memory of the person, it’s important to take into consideration particular areas that may hold a great significance to the one that has passed on. This is a particularly meaningful part of the grieving process, because it allows the observing family to have a visual image of their loved one resting  in a place that they cherished and spent much of their life surrounded by. Some people prefer to photograph or video tape the ashes being scattered over this place as a constant reminder that they will be surrounded by an area that they loved.

Even for those that choose scattering as a method of dispersing ashes, many families still like to have a small portion of the ashes or a lock of hair incorporated into a small memorial such as a piece of cremation jewelry or keepsake urn. Others prefer creating a memorial that may include a memorial stepping stone , memorial garden plaque, or a statuary or garden memorial sculpture to honor their loved one. Garden stones and garden benches can also be used indoors or out, and all create loving touches in your sacred space. Whatever your decision, this is a personal choice that is meant to honor and represent your passed loved one as well as heal, restore, and remember the time and life that your loved one spent on Earth.

Ceremony for Scattering Ashes

Today we’ll look at memorial ceremonies for scattering ashes.

The best advice on most of these methods is KEEP IT LOW and check the wind, unless you want a face full…

More information and resources on cremation memorials for spreading ashes can be found on our site.

Scattering Methods

* Casting: is the act of simply tossing the ashes to the wind. Usually done by one individual while others look on. Care and consideration of others should be used when casting. Check the direction of the wind and cast down wind. The ashes are mostly made up of a dense sand like matter and will quickly fall to the ground but some of it will be a fine powder and this will become airborne forming a whitish gray cloud. Casting can also be done as a group. People can take turns doing a partial scattering one at a time. I have also seen group scattering where multiple people scattered simultaneously in a toast-like gesture using paper cups.

* Trenching: This is done on land when a shallow trench or groove is dug in the soil. A hoe works well. Then the trench is filled from the scattering urn and usually racked over at the conclusion of the ceremony. You can get creative and dig the persons name in the soil, maybe inside a heart, then fill the void with the ashes. If its not too windy, candles can go in the ground alongside the trench for a more spiritual feel. Imagine filling a trenched name in beach sand and having the group form a ring around it. You can place and time it right so the tide will come up and wash the remains back to the sea while you all wade in the surf and share memories.

* Ringing: This is when we form a ring on the ground around an object or even a group of objects, it can be with or without a trench. The scattering urn will need to be held close to the ground when pouring the ring. Some ideas include a ring around a favorite tree or shrub. How about a ring around a group of candles or a memory table? The survivors can be the outer ring and take turns entering the ring to share words of remembrance.

* Raking: The ashes are poured from the scattering urn evenly on loose soil and raked into the ground, at the conclusion of the scattering ceremony. This is often how it is done in the scattering gardens that are now located in many cemeteries. Your funeral director can help you find a scattering garden in your area.

* Green Burial: A hole is made in the soil and the ashes can either be poured in or a biodegradable scattering urn can be placed in and covered. Many cemeteries will let you scatter on the grave site as long as the remains are buried. If the cemetery requires an urn, the biodegradable style is often permitted. Multiple scatterings or green burial can be done on one grave even if a casket has been buried the ashes can go on top. As with any scattering it is important to establish a permanent memorial so survivors have a place to continue remember and heal in the years to come.

* Water scattering: When scattering over a body of water a water-soluble urn can enhance the experience. These urns are specifically designed to gradually disperse the ashes back to the sea. Ashes can be cast directly into the water, but will often blow back at the boat and cling to the sides of the boat. This can be both frustrating and unsightly. A water-soluble urn will usually float for several minutes then slowly sink where it will degrade or melt back to the sea. The survivors will often toss flowers or petals as a final tribute as the urn slowly drifts away. There are professionals with boats available that will do either private water scatterings or create an event were the survivors may voyage and participate. Your funeral director will usually have the contacts to set this up in your area or you may find a provider on the resources section of this website.

* Aerial scattering: Usually done by professionals, this is done when the ashes are cast from a private plane.  Some pilots will coordinate with your ceremony to fly over and cast the ashes at a specified place and time. On clear days a cloud of ash can be seen from the ground. Most professionals will provide a certificate of the place and time and even photos. Some will allow passengers to attend the scattering for an extra fee.

Dispersing of cremated remains comes with a variety of regulations that vary by location, and typically requires a permit from the local health department as well as permission from the location where you are planning on scattering the ashes.  Scattering cremated remains, like any other method of saying your final good-byes, is emotionally very difficult. This is a good time to ask other family members or friends if keepsake portions need to be retained for those that may want a small portion.

By being knowledgeable about the available options makes the process a little easier, and establishing a permanent memorial for survivors to pay tribute to the departed often helps in the mourning process, and enables people a place to heal and remember their loved one for years to come.

Today’s tips on methods of  scattering or spreading ashes is courtesy of our friends at Cremation Solutions.

More information on planning a memorial service or ceremony for spreading ashes:

cremation memorial

Related Posts:

Scattering Ashes

Spreading Ashes At Sea

Dust in the Wind

Spreading Ashes Over Water

Random Linkage

It’s been a week in the garden. Busy moving, proving my identity, and dealing with rigid rule enforcers.

We are customer service connoisseurs and when the service is lacking we’re all over it. Had several instances this week, but the prize goes to the Storage Nazi.

Storage Nazi and her spouse are two vile robots that run a large complex and I’m sure they have their trials. They spew the RULES “CUZ THEY DON’T WANT ANYTHANG TORE UP!” Their rudeness is appalling and embarrassing. Most times, I try to be respectful and hold my tongue, but earlier this week they tested my patience.

Let’s move on.

Last week we wrote about customers that want to be buried with their pets. Today, we spoke to a lady who was putting her pup down and wanted her pet to be interred with her. She bought one of Terry Bloodworth’s beautiful blown glass pet urns.

Wow, Alex McIlveen really is my hero, not only did he kick a jihadi in the balls, his good name drove a lot of traffic to this blog! Who knew?

And speaking of jihad, In Repose had an interesting post on the Flight 93 memorial design proposal.

I’ve had my head in the sand lately, and haven’t been following the news, elevated fear and loathing factor every time I turn it on.

Speaking of sand and RULES, I found this interesting post on Secret Dubai Diary regarding freedom of speech.

America is indeed the land of the free: free (or practically free) communications. The sweet ease of being able to access Skype.com and videochat with friends and family overseas without having hordes of angry TRA officials banging on ones window waving camel whips.

The sheer delight of being able to make a two minute international phone call that don’t cost more than a labourer’s annual pay packet.

And the general joy of being able to access any website at any time at a speed light years faster than a lame carrier pigeon ferrying 1s and 0s back and forth from ones computer to Etishite.

So while America may have a president so unpopular that one can currently buy a calendar in Borders to count the days until he leaves office, at least people have the freedom to express their loathing and the communications to convey it.

Whereas in the sandlands, according to the UAE Publications Law Chapter 7 Article 76, it is actually forbidden to “blemish” the president of any “friendly state”. Which means that as the US is a UAE ally, we may only express loving praise for George W Bush and the wonderful progress he has made in Iraq and for world security in general.

So perhaps it really is the United American Emirates after all.

Another story of interest is the execution of China’s Head of Food and Drug Administration.

Dozens of people have died in China because of poor quality or fake food and drugs, sparking widespread international fears about the safety of Chinese exports.

Thirteen babies died of malnutrition in 2005 after being fed powdered milk that had no nutritional value.

US inspectors have blamed exported Chinese pet food ingredients, contaminated with melamine, for the deaths of cats and dogs in North America.

And they recently halted shipments of toothpaste from China to investigate reports that they may be contaminated with toxic chemicals.

Cardboard bun anyone?