Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

funeral service

Confessions of a Small Business Owner Pt. 4

redbud

The red buds are peaking this week, and it smells sooo good outdoors. The Urn Garden is downwind of two monster lilac bushes that are so fragrant.

lilac

And that my friends is the problem. Or is it? There’s no separation between work and home. It’s getting better, but when you cross the threshold at my place, you immediately enter our World Headquarters. My messy desk and file cabinet, work and living space all rolled into one, it’s the first site you see when you hit the door. It’s aesthetics really, and can easily be solved. Lots of people would ignore the clutter and crossover just for the opportunity to work from home, but there has to be a more attractive and productive answer, to partition it off somehow, I feel inspiration coming.

Listen to Your Gut: Spoke with a colleague today who worked for a funeral supply company and had taken on a line of the Chinese caskets. She really wanted me to take on a territory and help move the product, she’s good at what she does, works hard, and it could be a “great opportunity”. A nice addition to my business. When someone says “Great Opportunity” my radar goes off. Call me lazy, but I didn’t want to travel, and I’ve got my own challenges with distribution without adding the bulk of crated caskets to the mix. Not to mention the YEARS it would take to establish relationships with the funeral homes that were locked up in long-term dealings with their suppliers. If ever there was a breakthrough….I just couldn’t see it.

Today she informed me that after a year or two of that back breaking business, she’s moved on to what she’s really good at. Selling pre-need.

Another Revelation: Since I left my old job four years ago, the position has turned over three times! Makes you think…was I nuts to stay there eleven years? Nah.

SCI-FI CSI LA

The student at Embalmed to the Max introduced us to Thomas Noguchi, former LA Medical Investigator, L.A. Chief Coroner, and the inspiration for the show “Quincy”. We dug a little deeper and found an interview done in 1986 and found these futuristic thoughts.

On “Psychological Autopsies”:

I hope to see the day when we do neurochemical studies of the deceased. Profiles of adrenaline, norepinephrine, serotonin may tell us much about the psychology of the dead person. We’ve been conducting “psychological” autopsies for twenty-five years — let’s add neurochemical investigation of the spinal fluid and brain tissue.

On Capturing the Last Image from the Retina:

And there is an absolutely futuristic idea — like something out of Dick Tracy This is the concept of the retina as a photographic film: I see you, my murderer, but should I die, that image would remain! This idea is scary — the “last image” as an electronic impulse that may be recaptured. In computerized tomography we can rotate the CAT machine for an image of the brain. Going further, we could key in an image from the visual center of the occipital area. This is far-out, but I don’t want to throw it away completely.

Turbo Charged Database:

I would also like to develop the software for a computer small enough to store much of the background data for evaluating possible evidence at a crime scene. I don’t want to wait days or weeks for lab reports. I want to tap into a warehouse of information based on similar cases, similar weapons, so I can make spot tests right away. One cannot, and should not have to, remember the details of all cases in the past. Say I’m looking at a head injury and it shows a specific harpoon shape, one with a bit of a tail. I’d like to know what instrument causes this wound. So I’d compare this imprint of an unknown instrument to those of many thousands of other available weapons.

On his interest in “Art Morphology” — oil painting and sketching trying to capture his experience on canvas:

I’m interested in giving artistic representation to the crime scene. Most people perceive the dead body as still and the colors of death as gray, dark green, or black. I see intense energy and use intense colors — mostly red, orange — warm colors. I’ve been asked if I believe in reincarnation. In literal terms of past lives and such, I don’t, but the concept of the separation of the spirit from the body at death is very real to me.

And Finally, “The Big D”–

And the subject of death should be continuously talked about in more honest terms. The American tradition of whitewash eulogies, of letting sleeping dogs lie, of not writing anything about death, is injurious to the living. There are lessons to be learned from death. And because these death events are repeated over and over again, we must strive to understand them.

Companion Urn for the Veteran’s Cemetery

Hal from Cocoa Beach called today (70 degrees and raining) looking for a wood double capacity cremation urn for a military niche at the naval academy.

A tricky task indeed if you’ve never shopped for a companion urn. Academy regs state that no more than three urns to a niche. The dimensions he is working with are 10.25″ H x 8.5″ W x 10.25″ deep. Based on a standard adult urn size, the niche sounds like a single unit to me.

A basic  wood double urn was the answer for  for a standard size niche at the veterans cemetery.

military urn

Separate compartments for ash storage. Compact design measures 9.5″ W x 7″ D x 9.5″ H. Can be personalized with name plates or a military service medallion.

Free Stellar Service!

Act Now

vintage postcard

Tim had an interesting post on Final Embrace regarding internet shoppers and how they’ve affected the funeral industry. The internet has made a dent in the funeral director’s world. But the funeral director needs to look in the mirror.

Cue up Cher, “If I Could Turn Back Time”. On the local scene I’ve interviewed funeral directors that left me shaking my head. Several years ago, we (me, myself and I) surveyed the local market to determine what the cremation landscape was like. The numbers reflected growth, but were low compared to other parts of the country.

Frankly, what I saw was a market not being properly served. Insert disclaimer here: “We do not actively pursue sales in the state of Missouri.”

I was looking at the big picture, reading the trades, looking at the projections. I knew that the growth was there.

So the conversation on the local scene was a surprise, when these middle aged men admitted that:

  1. Cremation was growing
  2. Cremation families usually didn’t purchase an urn
  3. Many of their cremation clients HAVE money and choose not to spend it at the funeral home.

While discussing sales numbers with an experienced gentleman who retired from the highest volume operation in SW MO, he was surprised at the number of urns I sold per month. Waaaay more then he imagined.

Another operator who morally despises cremation, admits that cremation is now 30% of his business, and continues to climb said, “If I was 20 years younger, I’d do things a lot different.”

Right. What are you doing today?

And the real kicker? The one that still makes me smile: “Buying an urn on the internet is undignified.”

Why? Is it because I’m not wearing a suit while I run the client’s credit card?

Some funeral directors have told me they have “exclusive” arrangements with their vendors and only carry what said vendor doles out. This usually comes from the director that just said the families aren’t buying an urn.

I understand about relationships with your vendors and I’m all about the service. But if the product is not working for you or your families… then maybe it’s time to look at options that DO serve your interests. I have years of experience dealing with sales weasels representatives and trust me, if you are a good customer, your “friend” will do what is necessary to keep your business.

Most of my clients are Boomers and X’rs. Most know what they want, many have been to the funeral home and didn’t find what they were looking for. And some, well, I’m doing the funeral directors a favor by shielding them from the frustration of the family that googles “cheap urn”.

Note to self: Add category for cheap urns.

As a consumer, I don’t want to spend a great deal for funeral goods. Most people I know feel the same way. Certain members of my family prefer burial and that wish will be honored with services likely to be held at the funeral home. Personally, I like one stop shopping. I don’t see myself shopping online for a casket. But if $5000 is the national average for a burial, it’s still more than I want to spend.

Today’s Thought for the Day: Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

Dali Lama