Matters of Life and Death
The other Patriot Day.
While browsing the Template Monster, I spotted 3-4 new additions in the Society/Culture category… Funeral Service templates. And while I didn’t delve deeply, a couple designs did get my attention. And not in a good way.
Your thoughts?
We’re still digging out from the remodeling project, tedious, but liberating.
Two customer service issues with Amazon and Alltel have taken their toll.
As an Amazon merchant, we’ve had some issues regarding payment and communication and recently terminated our seller account. Amazon is difficult to do business with on the merchant level. After digging down deep for a phone number, I was connected to a rep in India and then transferred three times to someone who would “put a note in my file”. That’s what they said a month ago. Hmmmm. Suspicions confirmed…..
Alltel: Second visit in four days. The phone store experience has become reminiscent of a visit to the DMV. Silly me, I went to one of the smaller “satellite” stores thinking it might be less busy than the main location. Bad idea. The reps are pleasant enough, it’s the clients that are surly. Saturday, get new phone and revise contract.
Today, I planned a weekday 10 am visit for a simple accessory exchange, should be in and out. Count on a minimum 30 minute wait. Both days, customers are stacked up with lots of huffing and puffing going on. Three agents to service the masses. Saturday, they had a greeter to take names and route the traffic. They don’t answer the phone, which rings incessantly, but the ring tones blend in with the hip hop dance club music they play overhead. The kids love it.
Prior to the first visit, I made several attempts to call ahead to get the store hours, the recording does not divulge that information. Today, I saw two people stomp out of the store swearing they’d never use AllTel again.
Maybe they should expand the lounge area and serve cocktails while people are waiting. Or hire a few more agents. Saturday, my rep was demonstrating the phone internet features and pron proceeded to download in my face. Whoops! Krazy Kids!
On a brighter note the folks at urngarden.com have added a wholesale module for funeral directors to log-on and order the cremation urn styles that families WILL BUY. We’ve mined the data to show you what customers prefer in your area and you can build around it.
Today we’ll examine Florida. Most funeral homes in the USA carry the two standards Birds in Flight (I call it “Free Bird”) and the Classic. Both have matching 3″ keepsakes and are the most popular cremation urns sold in the Sunshine State from 2005 to present.
Speaking of memorial keepsake urns- from the 3″ brass standards to the cremation urn jewelry gold heart pendant, they all do well. Family packs of keepsake urns in quantities of 4-6 are a popular choice and we’ll mix and match if desired. Call me or call your supplier, but make it a point to stock the cremation urn styles that families prefer.
Celtic keepsake urns- we have an exclusive line that we’ve added in the last year.
Florida Families also purchased: Blue Swirl and Irish Rose .
Florida families are doing the tree dedications and adding a bench or statuary as a cremation memorial.
When we stroll through the garden, we’ll stop and pay tribute to the makeshift memorials we find. At the elementary school is a marker dedicated to a school employee who died suddenly. A tree has been planted in his memory. Simple.
Sometimes planting a tree in your loved one’s memory can give the family a place to return to honor the loved one. Tree plantings can be marked with a tree dedication stone personalized with artwork and the departed’s name and dates
At the high school nearby there’s this simple roadside memorial.
A more elaborate memorial is tucked in a quiet corner of a nearby bed and breakfast.
Memorial stepping stones, memorial garden plaques, as well as a statuary or garden memorial sculpture are other ideal ways to memorialize your loved one if you are limited in space because these items can represent your loved ones’ personality. Garden stones and garden benches can be used indoors or out, and are all loving touches in your sacred space.
Regardless of the memorial garden that you choose best represents your passed loved one, memorials can be used to heal, restore, and remember the time and life that your loved one spent on Earth.
Today’s tip for better living: Get your hands dirty!
Today we’ll look at memorial ceremonies for scattering ashes.
The best advice on most of these methods is KEEP IT LOW and check the wind, unless you want a face full…
More information and resources on cremation memorials for spreading ashes can be found on our site.
Scattering Methods
* Casting: is the act of simply tossing the ashes to the wind. Usually done by one individual while others look on. Care and consideration of others should be used when casting. Check the direction of the wind and cast down wind. The ashes are mostly made up of a dense sand like matter and will quickly fall to the ground but some of it will be a fine powder and this will become airborne forming a whitish gray cloud. Casting can also be done as a group. People can take turns doing a partial scattering one at a time. I have also seen group scattering where multiple people scattered simultaneously in a toast-like gesture using paper cups.
* Trenching: This is done on land when a shallow trench or groove is dug in the soil. A hoe works well. Then the trench is filled from the scattering urn and usually racked over at the conclusion of the ceremony. You can get creative and dig the persons name in the soil, maybe inside a heart, then fill the void with the ashes. If its not too windy, candles can go in the ground alongside the trench for a more spiritual feel. Imagine filling a trenched name in beach sand and having the group form a ring around it. You can place and time it right so the tide will come up and wash the remains back to the sea while you all wade in the surf and share memories.
* Ringing: This is when we form a ring on the ground around an object or even a group of objects, it can be with or without a trench. The scattering urn will need to be held close to the ground when pouring the ring. Some ideas include a ring around a favorite tree or shrub. How about a ring around a group of candles or a memory table? The survivors can be the outer ring and take turns entering the ring to share words of remembrance.
* Raking: The ashes are poured from the scattering urn evenly on loose soil and raked into the ground, at the conclusion of the scattering ceremony. This is often how it is done in the scattering gardens that are now located in many cemeteries. Your funeral director can help you find a scattering garden in your area.
* Green Burial: A hole is made in the soil and the ashes can either be poured in or a biodegradable scattering urn can be placed in and covered. Many cemeteries will let you scatter on the grave site as long as the remains are buried. If the cemetery requires an urn, the biodegradable style is often permitted. Multiple scatterings or green burial can be done on one grave even if a casket has been buried the ashes can go on top. As with any scattering it is important to establish a permanent memorial so survivors have a place to continue remember and heal in the years to come.
* Water scattering: When scattering over a body of water a water-soluble urn can enhance the experience. These urns are specifically designed to gradually disperse the ashes back to the sea. Ashes can be cast directly into the water, but will often blow back at the boat and cling to the sides of the boat. This can be both frustrating and unsightly. A water-soluble urn will usually float for several minutes then slowly sink where it will degrade or melt back to the sea. The survivors will often toss flowers or petals as a final tribute as the urn slowly drifts away. There are professionals with boats available that will do either private water scatterings or create an event were the survivors may voyage and participate. Your funeral director will usually have the contacts to set this up in your area or you may find a provider on the resources section of this website.
* Aerial scattering: Usually done by professionals, this is done when the ashes are cast from a private plane. Some pilots will coordinate with your ceremony to fly over and cast the ashes at a specified place and time. On clear days a cloud of ash can be seen from the ground. Most professionals will provide a certificate of the place and time and even photos. Some will allow passengers to attend the scattering for an extra fee.
Dispersing of cremated remains comes with a variety of regulations that vary by location, and typically requires a permit from the local health department as well as permission from the location where you are planning on scattering the ashes. Scattering cremated remains, like any other method of saying your final good-byes, is emotionally very difficult. This is a good time to ask other family members or friends if keepsake portions need to be retained for those that may want a small portion.
By being knowledgeable about the available options makes the process a little easier, and establishing a permanent memorial for survivors to pay tribute to the departed often helps in the mourning process, and enables people a place to heal and remember their loved one for years to come.
Today’s tips on methods of scattering or spreading ashes is courtesy of our friends at Cremation Solutions.
More information on planning a memorial service or ceremony for spreading ashes:
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Never have been a fan of embalming, but then I realized I’d never seen embalming done well. Recently, a friend of the family passed after a long illness. At 93, in ill health, she was ready to go, she was worn out.
Before she passed, this once active lady nested on the couch, slept in her clothes and occasionally risked getting up to go the bathroom. You know the story; fell, broke her hip never to recover.
She’d tell you that she was ready to go and didn’t understand what was taking so long. She meant it.
Fast forward to the visitation. At the viewing, my grandmother Etta insisted that I go look at the deceased. “Doesn’t she look like she could sit up and start talking?” Etta Mae asked. I stepped back; I was amazed by the good work done by Gorman Sharpf funeral home. I’d never witnessed someone who looked better in death than in the last few years of life.
The next day at the burial, I stopped the funeral director, Bruce Howell and praised the firm’s work. Mr. Howell sited his nephew and said that sometimes with older ladies that have been ill, the results of embalming and cosmetics are good.
My grandfather, was the worst embalming case I have ever seen. Granted, he’d been gravely ill before he died, however, he would have wanted a viewing and a picture, and I believe my mother obliged him.
The only time I can recall actually needing a viewing to confirm that the deceased was actually gone was in the case of a friend’s suicide.
The act was so shocking and unbelievable at the time. The casket was closed and I remember thinking that my friend couldn’t possibly be in there. What are we doing here?
Enter Vernie Fountain. Master of reconstruction. He believes the open casket viewing is a critical component in the grieving process. Mr. Fountain is the one to call when damage is so severe that most funeral directors won’t even attempt a viewing. Students from all over the world come to Springfield, MO to attend his academy and learn his techniques.
An Iowa family recently used Mr. Fountain’s services when their 22 year old son committed suicide by placing a high velocity rifle in his mouth and pulling the trigger. No note. The family needed to say goodbye and try to get through this terrible tragedy.
Fountain came through and gave the family some closure. The family and community needed to see the young man one last time .