Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

funeral service

Own It!

Greetings!

Three Beautiful Things:

Fresh fruit salad
Naps
Knowing someone still loves you in your most unattractive moment

While wandering around the internets we stumbled onto this amusing post, I tuned in because the author had ripped a couple of my pix and referred to some of my product.

Jetpacks pointed out the Trimspa is still pimping Anna Nicole’s image. Howard K. Stern is probably licensing a deal for the Anna Nicole Smith Halloween costume. How many dead sexy Annas’ will we see later this fall?

Everything is for sale, and if you haven’t seen Mike Judge’s Idiocracy, check it out on DVD. Thanks again to JP for tipping us off. “Don’t expect too much, as it is a satire about a dumbed-down nation, but the many (and brilliant) stabs at corporations were severe enough to cause this movie to have to go underground.

No studio backing for its release. No marketing push. Left to flounder in limited runs in 16 cities, in some cases being billed as “Untitled Comedy by Mike Judge.” Then dumped on the DVD market with no publicity, hopefully to die a quiet death. That’s what happens when you bite the hands of Starbucks, Costco, Carls’ Jr., FedEx, American Express, Fox News and more. People wear disposable logo shirts in the year 2505 and anyone who reads is “a fag.”

Branding has been on our mind lately, I’ve noticed that the rock stars of the yoga world have branded their own styles of the ancient practice, including BREATHING. On the flip side of breathing, the McDeath of the funeral world has been in litigation over the attempt to trademark “Family Funeral Care”. Independents have been fighting hard to shut it down, funeral directors love the word “Dignity” and SCI already owns that.

AS SEEN ON TV: Our intern spotted some of our wares that we sold to MTV as props for one of their sick puppet shows.
Today’s Tip for Better Living: Take the last train to Clarksville.

Flying Free and Feather Crowns

Surreal seems to be where death services are going, even if only a small percentage make it into the extreme zone. “Some things done at memorial services or celebrations of life would absolutely mortify some traditional types of people,” says Janet Riscuitti, director at Funeral Services Association of British Columbia. “There are no rules any more. A meaningful ceremony might be held on a beach and everyone will bring their surfboards.”

There are no rules…and that’s why the funeral directors are challenged.

Example: Ed Headrick’s memorial service was unorthodox, for one thing, he wasn’t even dead. The service took place at Headrick’s bedside in California in 2002, where he lay dying at the age of 78. After his death, Headrick, who invented the Frisbee, was cremated and the cremated remains mixed into 2,000 Frisbees that can be purchased online for $210 US.

That raises questions ranging from the mundane to the mysterious.

If the funeral is without tradition, what are the guests to do? Do they wear black or Hawaiian print? Then there are the big questions. Is a funeral or memorial only for the living? Lynn Greenhough, who serves on Synagogue Emanu-El’s burial society (the Chevra Kadisha), says society now looks on these services as a psychological exercise for the grieving survivors, but this was not always so. When it comes to ancient burial services, Greenhough says, “All these rituals were understood to be helping the soul of the deceased.” Culling tradition from funeral services is symbolic of modern society’s denial of death, suggests Greenhough, adding, “It is … a denial of any possibility of a realm beyond this form. None of us are getting out of this alive. That makes everyone uneasy.”

A local funeral director told me that the fastest growing religion here in the bible belt, specifically SW MO is…..NO Religion.

We’ll close with a serious backwoods superstition that is both heavenly or the work of SATAN. From Vance Randolph’s book on Ozark Superstitions.

Hillbilly Hairball, a prized treasure and very serious business: To find a feather crown or “angel wreath” in the goose down pillow of the dead.

Most hill folk considered the presence of a feather crown in the pillow good fortune and the dear departed had gone straight to heaven. It was especially fortunate to find a perfectly formed crown in the pillow of a “less than deserving” individual, indicating that sins had been absolved and the deceased had a fast pass to the pearly gates.

When the bereaved family finds one of the feather crowns in the pillow of the deceased, the crown is removed from the pillow with great care and displayed to all the neighbors; sometimes there is a mention of it in the village paper, as a sort of postscript to the obituary.

One lady from Little Rock, AR left instructions to be buried with her late husband’s crown in her bosom, he had died 30 years prior, but she kept the feather crown in a box at her bedside.

On the dark side some people considered the feather crowns evil omens, produced by witches which should be instantly thrown in the fire when found.

Vance Randolph refers to another Little Rock resident who examined her pillows every month for suspicious lumps. Her husband was a politician with many enemies and feared witchcraft being employed against the family. The belief was the crowns grow slowly and the whole evil business could be stopped by searching and burning. If a feather crown was allowed to grow to completion, the person who sleeps on that pillow will DIE immediately.

feather crown folklore

Gloria M., Duck River, Tennessee “These are from my mothers 2 sisters that died at the ages of 7 and 10. These are over 100 years old. My grandmother used to tell me that the presence of these in a feather pillow meant that they went to Heaven. They have never came loose and still feel firm after a century.”

 

Stop The Clock!

Greetings!

Urngarden is a career change for us, and was started after some sad events in our life, we sensed the changes that were happening in the industry (yes, death is an industry) and felt like we could offer families and funeral homes an alternative. Families have embraced the opportunity, funeral homes are another story.

There is a lot of angst within the funeral home world. The public has dictated that they don’t ALWAYS want the traditional casket/viewing/burial service. Funeral directors are feeling the squeeze. Not only from the public but the vendors they do business with. There are too many funeral homes for the death rate.

The Chinese are mastering the Western style of casket manufacturing and this frustrates the vendors. The quality is good and the prices are fantastic. That translates to jobs for the American manufacturers. Locally, a casket manufacturer closed their plant to “consolidate operations”. Meaning: move production to Mexico.

Recently, we spoke with a family who’s mother died suddenly. She had several children and the kids were aware of mother’s wishes to be cremated. One son held out for burial, the funeral home seized upon HIS wish and $10,000 later (without a marker) this family is struggling to pay the bill. Sometime ago, I met with the funeral director that handled the arrangements and we talked about the impact of cremation on his business. He was bitter about the trend and referred to it as “body disposal”. Morally, he feels cremation is wrong but says he’ll honor the families he serves. Hmmmmm.

Regarding morals and serving your customers I found this article of interest on the issues a Target in Minnesota is having with some of their cashiers.
More later…..

More death and burial folklore from Vance Randolph:

When a death finally occurs, one of the bereaved neighbors rises immediately and stops the clock. Everybody knows that if the clock should happen to stop of itself while a corpse is lying in the house, another member of the family would die within a year, and it’s best not to take no chances.

The next thing to do is cover every mirror in the house with white cloths, which are not removed until after the funeral. This is done out of consideration for those who may come in to view the body, for it one of them should glimpse his own reflection in the house of death, it is believed that he will never live to see another summer.

In some houses, immediately after a death occurs, the chairs are all turned up so that nobody can sit in them, and people who come into the presence of the dead are forced to stand. Randolph could never find the source of this belief and was told by one old-timer that “it is a new-fangled custom, brought into the country by some outlanders about 1880.”

“When a hillman dies all his bedding and articles of clothing are immediately hung on a line outdoors. People coming far down the road see this and know that the patient is dead. In predicting a sick man’s demise, I have heard people say “Poor Jim’s britches will be a-hangin’ out most any day now!”

“The hillfolk have a veritable mania for washing dead bodies; the moment a death occurs the neighbors strip the corpse and begin to scrub it vigorously. A man man be dirty all his life, and in his last illness his body and bedding may be so foul that one can harley stay in the cabin, but he goes to his grave clean. All of the work connected with a death- washing and dressing the body, is done by friends and neighbors. Not one of the near relatives of the deceased will have any part in these doings, except in the direst necessity.”

Today’s tip: Perfect your yodel.

Who’s Your Daddy?

Greetings!

DNA samples collected from Anna Nicole Smith and now the Godfather of Soul.

Tomi Rae Hynie, who claims to be James Brown’s fourth wife, says she stood in front of his open casket and mourned one more time before DNA samples were taken from the late soul singer’s body – more than two months after the Godfather of Soul died, the Associated Press reports. Lawyers for Brown’s trustees wanted DNA samples to help sort out several paternity claims made against the singer since he died Dec. 25 at age 73. His body is being held at an undisclosed location.

“We had a saying that his father, Papa Joe, used to say when he would win playing dice. He would say, `Us win’ to James,” Hynie said Friday. “So, I was praying and I said, `Us win, baby. We are going to put you in the ground and you’re going to get some rest finally, at last.”

Yes, let’s have some peace for the family and let the man rest.

Hynie refused to say when or where Brown would be buried, but said it was something she “had been fighting for all along. I’m very happy we’re coming to a resolution with the family on that,” she said. “He was my life … and I miss him very much.”

A few of Brown’s children and a funeral director also viewed Brown on Thursday before the court-ordered DNA samples were collected. Hynie wouldn’t say whether a paternity test will be needed for her son, who wasn’t included in Brown’s will. Attorneys who handled the will told the AP the child may be entitled to some of the estate, but a paternity test would be needed. Attorneys for the singer have said Brown and Hynie weren’t legally married when he died because she was married to another man when they said their vows.

His children are in charge of his burial, Brown attorney and trustee Buddy Dallas said. “If I had a say in it, it would have already been done,” Dallas said. A telephone message for David Yount, an attorney for Brown’s children, wasn’t immediately returned Friday. Charles Reid, manager of the C.A. Reid Funeral Home in Augusta, Ga., said he was ready to bury his friend. “It needs to be done and that way it will put everything to rest hopefully,” said Reid, who handled Brown’s funeral.

Today’s tip: Put a raincoat on.

Creepy or Cool?

Greetings!

Let’s start with the full moon. If you haven’t stepped out to take a look, do so.

It’s Technology Week in the garden, and while the tomb of St. Paul recently went on display for public viewing, we were reminded of the inventors working to create video tombstones so that YOU can leave YOUR legacy. Patents are pending on a couple of projects, and developers envision you being able to stroll through the cemetery with a remote, or access the dead from your desktop.

The Cassity brothers from Missouri have already started experimenting with this concept at the Hollywood cemetery, Forever Fernwood. Charlie Chaplin, Rudolph Valentino are there, and Dee Dee and Johnny Ramone both chose it as their final resting place. Johnny’s not there yet—his wife is still holding on to his ashes—but his monument, a statue of himself playing the guitar, is a siren call for a certain kind of customer, one who imagines the afterlife as like a really long night at CBGB.

The Cassity boys were the inspiration behind the hit HBO series Six Feet Under. Speaking of HBO, Rome is must see TV in the garden, and we just hope they don’t cancel the series, I’ve read the production costs for this show are astronomical.

Rushed post today, we are getting a break in the weather and must make “hey” while the sun shines.

Today’s tip: Inspire someone.