memorial garden

DIY Memorials: Let’s Talk about Memorial Gardens

February 24, 2018 Kim Stacey

put forth what you want to attract meme

When we first discussed memorial gardens as a blog post topic, I was sure we’d feature only one post on the subject. But, as everyone knows, ideas evolve. Because I now believe there’s more to the topic than I originally thought. This post then, is the first in a series on memorial gardens. It’s intended to spark your imagination and stimulate creative thinking–in preparation for the next steps in creating this DIY memorial. Ready?

Think of a deceased friend, family member, or pet you’d like to honor with a memorial garden. Based on their personality and your desires, what would their garden look like?

forget-me-not-seed-packet

At first, I thought of my dad. His memorial garden would be full of his favorite flowers: snapdragons and tulips. Then, I thought of my mother. She wasn’t big on flowers, but she adored growing vegetables. (Born in 1922, both my parents were children of the depression; between the two, she was the practical one. Dad was an artist at heart, and he’d love lots of color in his memorial garden. Mom would rather have provided nourishing food to her community.)

I asked other folks what kind of memorial garden they’d plant to honor someone special to them. One fellow’s memorial garden idea–for his father, who could only grow crab grass, peppers, and tomatoes–was a rock garden. Interspersed among the rocks would be potted plants – including a (potted) patch of crab grass. When I heard that, I thought “What a great memorial garden idea!” Others started coming to the fore, including indoor dish gardens, and planter box gardens (great for those without a back yard (people living in an apartment, for example).

So, let’s get back to the evolution of this post; from just one; into a series. For those with a yard in which to plant, there will be three posts:

Planning a Memorial Garden: Step-by-Step
Selecting the Right Flowers, Trees or Shrubs
Preparing the Soil, Planting, and Maintaining the Memorial Garden

For those who don’t have an outdoor space, we’ll also look at indoor memorial garden ideas, including dish gardens and planter box gardens.

The final post in the series will focus on ways you can incorporate your loved one’s memorial garden in healing (and honoring) rituals on those ‘special days’ (death anniversary, birthday…wedding anniversary…) when commemoration is due. So stay tuned.

Are you looking for other ways to honor a loved one on the anniversary of their passing? Then, you’re sure to find “Twelve Ways to Celebrate a Loved One’s Death Anniversary” of interest. Oh! Since it’s still February, I’m going to offer this month’s celebration of love, “Beauty from the Ashes: Heart Shaped Urns” and last year’s “Heart-Shaped Urns: A Love Story”.

DIY Memorials: How to Make a Memorial Shrine

January 14, 2018 Kim Stacey

Are you looking for fun, meaningful DIY memorial ideas? If so, you’ve come to the right place because our 2018 blog calendar is chock-full of wonderful do-it-yourself memorial ideas. Today’s post focuses on creating a memorial shrine in honor of a loved one.

And grief therapists tell us a memorial shrine can be a fine addition to your ‘bereavement toolkit’. In the 2011 post “Creating Shrines and Altars for Healing from Grief” Karla Helbert, MS, LPC, tells readers why this is so: “…shrines are external representations of interior mysteries…and ways of showing in tangible form what might be happening in our hearts and spirits. Creating shrines and altars gives us opportunities to remember, to reflect and to honor, as well as to help heal the pain of loss through the act of creating. The creation of a personal shrine can establish a private place to which you can return to reflect, meditate, grieve, engage in a personal ritual, remember, and honor the one who has died.”

A well-conceived memorial shrine shines the light of love, illuminating the relationship shared during your loved one’s lifetime.

How to Make a Memorial Shrine

There are dozens of websites, including Pinterest, where you can find inspiration for your loved one’s memorial shrine. Begin by finding the right location in your home for your memorial shrine: it needs to be placed in a quiet, comfortable place. If you’ve not got a lot of room, don’t worry – you don’t need a lot.

Once the location is decided upon, gather up the items you’d like to include in your loved one’s memorial shrine. Ms. Helbert, the author of the article mentioned earlier, suggests:

Make a list of words that come to mind when you think of your loved one.
Make a list of objects or things that you associate with your loved one.
Write down any words of wisdom, favorite expressions, funny or loving things your loved might have said. If your loved one never spoke, write down memories that have stuck with you, specific times that you continue to return to, that seem to bring some peace and comfort and to remind you of their love.
Write down nicknames or pet names you might have used for each other and any associations those words may bring up.
Write down his or her favorite colors, flowers, foods, hobbies, talents, etc.
Research and find images that correspond to some of the things you have listed. You may find lots of interesting images on the internet that you can print and cut out for use in creating a memory board or seeing the images may spark other thoughts or ideas that you may wish to incorporate in your memorial shrine.

There are dozens of websites, including our Pinterest account, where you can find inspiration for your loved one’s memorial shrine. There are also a couple of good books on the subject, including the 2004 book, Crafting Personal Shrines: Using Photos, Mementos & Treasures to Create Artful Displays by Carol Owen, and Sacred Spaces: Creating Personal Altars and Shrines for Your Home by Beverley Jollands.

Did you know you can even make a portable pocket memorial shrine? I especially like this DIY memorial shrine idea: find an Altoids tin and place some special items–ones which provoke strong feelings when seen – inside.

(Check out this Pinterest page for more on these tiny tributes.)

On a side note: this idea has much the same purpose as a memorial garden, in that you’re creating a sacred space, dedicated to the memory of a loved one, where you can spend time in quiet reflection. Here in the doldrums of winter, if planting a memorial garden when the spring returns to your part of the world sounds like a fine idea, read our post, DIY Memorial Garden. Take it a “step” further, round up your supplies and get crafty to make your own memorial stepping stone.You might also enjoy reading our 2015 post, “Gift Ideas for Someone Who is Grieving” – a worthy read, even if the “someone grieving” is you!

Urn Garden’s Top 3 Picks for Living Memorials (Trees)

July 19, 2017 urngarden.com

Dogwoods for living memorial

When a death occurs friends often are left wondering what they can do for the grieving family. We’ve written about gift ideas before, but a living memorial could be the gift that keeps giving and creates a beautiful lasting legacy. Specifically, we are talking about an ornamental tree or flowering bush. Naturally, this wouldn’t be appropriate for an apartment or condo dweller, but for a family or friend that has room on their property or wanted to make a donation to a park, this gift could be the answer.

My grandmother’s tradition of scared plantings in the garden and her gifts of perennials and flowering trees is the inspiration behind our business. Right before Grandmother died, she gifted a dogwood tree to the spouse of longtime family friends. It was bittersweet and symbolic, as the person who had passed did not have any brothers, sisters or children of her own and was basically the end of the branch on that family’s genealogy tree.

Before we start, we should note that if you want to personalize your living memorial with a plaque or marker, some families choose to create a tree dedication marker that can be placed at the base of the tree.

tree dedication marker stone

The stones are weather proof and can contain names and dates or other brief message that will mark the sacred spot.

dogwood flowers

1. Flowering Dogwood

This is the Dogwood that most people are most familiar with. The nice thing about these trees are that they don’t take up a lot of room and are early spring bloomers. Definitely a sight for sore eyes after a long bleak winter. White or pink flowers and even grafted varieties that create half pink half white. The dogwood symbolizes life and gives us hope after a dark and cold season. Here in zone 7 the dogwoods start to pop in April, signaling the arrival of the hummingbirds shortly after. We’ve noticed that later in the fall, the squirrels love to feed on the seed pods that are left on the tree.

Japanese Kousa Dogwood

2. Japanese Dogwood (Kousa)

Another species of dogwood and personally, my favorite. The Kousa blooms later in the spring, usually mid May and the blossoms are spectacular. Star shaped white flowers load the branches and will last for weeks, lasting longer than the standard Dogwood. This tree combines the best of delicate beauty but is tough and durable. Nice and shady in the summer and then the leaves will turn red in the fall.

weeping cherry tree memorial

3. Weeping Cherry

Stunningly beautiful, the cascading blossoms of pink or white in early spring are a welcome site and are often planted near pools of water for maximum impact. Check the label if size is an issue for you when planting. Some of the weeping cherries can get quite large and tower over 40 feet tall. If smaller and more compact is more desirable for the landscape you have chosen, check out the dwarf varieties.

Due to the heat, it’s a little late in the season right now for planting these types of trees, best times are early spring and later fall. That gives you plenty of time to pick the perfect spot and coordinate a tree planting ceremony or dedication if desired.

Memorial Gifts: What to Send Instead of Flowers

April 21, 2016 urngarden.com

memorial gifts offered at urn garden

Flowers are great memorial gifts, but there’s other options.

When sending your condolences to a family member, friend or acquaintance, a bouquet of flowers is often the first thing that comes to mind. Not only are flowers pleasing to the eye, but they’re also capable of showing a significance or symbolizing a meaning that words are often unable to express. However, it’s for that reason that flowers can become overwhelming and sometimes even begin to fill up entire rooms. That’s not to say this is a bad thing – one can never have too much support or too many flowers, but there are many other great ways to express the same sentiment. That’s why we at Urn Garden have compiled a list of worthy alternatives so you have more than one option when choosing memorial gifts.

Alternative Memorial Gift Ideas

Check for Specifics From the Family

In some cases, families will suggest alternative memorial gifts for you. If the family has done so, they’ll often list it in the obituary. If not, check the funeral website or give the funeral home a call.

Shrub or Memorial Stone

Shrubs make great memorial gifts because they are visually appealing and serve as a beautiful, lasting memory. However, before giving someone a shrub, blooming tree, or flowering plant for the yard or garden, first determine whether or not they’ll have the available space to plant it.

weeping cherry tree memorial

Similarly, memorial stones also make great memorial gifts because of their longevity.

However, a memorial stone is perhaps a more versatile memorial gift, as they can be placed inside, outside, or virtually anywhere else in a home, garden, or on someone’s property but may not be suitable for an apartment dweller.

Photos

If you are a family member or close friend of those who are grieving, you may have memorable photos of the deceased that they do not.

photo frame luminaries — photo credit: pinterest/thatswhatchesaid

If so, consider compiling a memorial album or CD. Doing so will give family members and friends of the deceased new, cherished memories that will last forever and could be used at the funeral or memorial service.

Self-Care Items

Taking care of yourself isn’t always a priority for those who are grieving. That’s why gifts like massages, manicures or even gift certificates to dance or exercise classes at the local YMCA can serve as a great memorial gift. However, if you’re not quite sure someone is ready to get out of the house yet, you might consider giving a self-care basket instead. Your gift basket could include a variety of items such as bath salts and lotions, candles, movies and more. This blog post covers some ideas for gifts baskets that brightened a dark day for some of the families we serve.

A Dedication or Donation

If the deceased was involved in a church or community organization, do some research to find out if you can have something dedicated in their honor. If not, try making a donation instead. Not sure which organization you should donate to? Check the obituary. The deceased’s family members will often make a note of this here.

Choosing memorial gifts can be something of a stressful endeavor, especially when you feel as though you don’t have any options. However, by referencing the above suggestions, you’ll be better equipped to choose the right memorial gift for the occasion. gift ideas for grieving friends and family

Continue to browse our website for more information on memorial gifts, or give us a call to get a quote on the other services we provide such as cremation urns or jewelry.

5 Ways to Use Memorial Stones

January 15, 2016 urngarden.com

5 Ways to Use Memorial Stones When a loved one dies, it is becoming more commonplace to place a memorial stone in her honor. It is a personal yet comforting reminder that she now lives in the hearts of her family and friends. Memorial stones are made from resin, hand-cast stone or concrete. Depending on where you live, resin stones and statuary may need to be sheltered during certain seasons as extreme heat or cold might cause damage. Concrete is waterproof and durable and can stand up to even the harshest weather and last for many years. If needed, personalized monuments can easily be touched up with masonry paint if fading occurs over time.

Five Ways to Use Memorial Stones
If you are thinking of placing a memorial stone in memory of a loved one who died, there are several ways in which to do this so others can share their sentiments too.

1. Tree and plant dedication: If you are holding a special tree planting as part of a living memorial, you can add a dedication stone identifying and paying tribute to your loved one.

2. Sacred space: Dedicating a special place such as a spot in your backyard can be deemed a sacred space. It needn’t be associated with religion. This space, where a lovely memorial stone can be placed, is simply an area worth of dedication or respect.

3. Park: Since parks are public places, memorial stones are typically placed in them when a tree, bench or plant is dedicated to a public figure or notable resident.

4. Office or workplace: Some places of employment dedicate a room, building, courtyard, or other spot with a memorial stone or plaque typically in honor of a founder, long-time employee or someone in a leading role passes away.

5. Garden memorial: This is probably one of the most traditional ways to honor someone at home. You can place a memorial stone in a garden filled with your loved one’s favorite plants, trees or other types of garden décor.