Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

mental health

Tilly’s Story: Bad Day At The Office


Yesterday, on 9/11 many were remembering that terrible day. Nobody wants to re-live that morning, although it does help to appreciate my small life, and my non-problems that were unfolding that crispy morning.

Smart girl, that Tilly.

Tilly’s Location: 59th Floor office, center of South Tower’s west side:

A horrific boom resounded throughout the office, so loud that it reminded me of a supersonic jet screaming right next to the window, only 10 times louder. The building shook so severely that I had to grab the desk to keep my footing! Instantly, I spun around and ran into my boss office to look out the window facing west into New Jersey. Stepping up on the air conditioning vent, I pressed my face and body against the window (not the smartest move, but it gave me a perspective on how severe the situation was). I saw monumental amounts of debris blowing by and raining down everywhere: chunks of burning metal, papers, desks — and bodies.

I could not believe what I was seeing.

Although we had a good evacuation procedure in place, I was not going to wait for it to be dictated to me. I grabbed my backpack, then a frightened Karen, and stressed in a loud, forceful manor laced with foul language (using everything in the book and then some!) that everyone needed to move now! I didn’t know at that moment what had occurred, but I knew that we were all in grave trouble, and that our best course of action was to be as close to the ground as we could go…

59 Flights of Stairs:

I like the way this girl thinks:

When we reached the 38th floor, the now controversial P.A. announcement was issued that we should either return to our floor or exit onto the floor where we were, but to stay in the building because the falling debris made it unsafe to be outside, and our South Tower was not yet secure. No one going down in the stairwell stopped…

It took me exactly 17 minutes to get down 59 flights of stairs because eventually it turned out to be the time difference between the two planes hitting each tower.

And that’s just a quick trip to the lobby…..

Definitely a story to be archived.

Today’s tip for better living: Layer your clothing.

DIY Memorial Garden

Even if you don’t have a million dollars to re-landscape your outdoor living space, you can still create a memorial garden or outdoor sanctuary in a small space on a shoestring.

Depending on how elaborate you want to get, a bench and a few low maintenance plants will do. Expand on the idea with an arbor, pergola or trellis. Outdoor lighting? You can do it in phases, or as your finances allow. Next season, add a fountain or water feature.
urngarden garden memorials

Feel like you need to get your hands dirty and work the earth? What about this intriguing garden design? It can be done on a small scale and filled with easy care plants.

Want to dedicate a tree or sacred spot in the garden? Customize a garden memorial stone or marker. Personalized stones will take 2-4 weeks to create, but worth the wait and you can use the time to plan your space and buy the plants needed.

urn garden memorial stones

It’s never too late to start creating your healing garden, in fact this is a great time to find outdoor furniture, plants and accessories on clearance.

Today’s tip: Create a sanctuary for yourself.

Clearing the Emotional Clutter Pt. 2

HOW TO FREE YOURSELF OF MEMORY CLUTTER

* Realize that if you let go of an item, you do not let go of that person. People do not live on through material items.

* Hold on to items that only bring back positive memories, not painful ones.

* If there are items that encourage you to keep up a ritual based on grief, consider letting it go and focus on the positive instead.

* Make sure your space has a great representation of the past but also leaves room for you to celebrate the present and plan for the future.

* Keep the items that truly represent your loved one. To help, use this three-step process:

Step 1: Place all items in another area.

Step 2: If you’re looking to renovate a room, decide how you want to feel in that space.

Step 3: Sort everything into three categories: charity donations, keepsakes and items for a memory chest.

After almost six years, one family began the process of letting go of their young son. They begin with suitcases of his clothes and find a T-shirt that brings back painful memories of the end of his life. “Three years of our life was pain, and that’s like a memory of him. That’s still him,” his mother says.

“You have to separate the pain from the memory of your son,” organizational expert Peter Walsh says. Slowly, she lets go. “The thing is now this will be used by kids who need clothes. It will be put to great use by others who are less well off than you,” Peter says.

When deciding to keep certain things, that were part of the family routine, Peter wants to make sure this ritual is not unhealthy for the family. “The big focus in this is that stuff has power over you,” Peter says. “My concern [is] that often in touching things or looking at things they [are] connecting to the grief of the experience.”

Five hours later, the family finishes with four boxes of joyful memories.

When they described what they wanted in a home office, the family told Nate they wanted it to be functional but still honor their son’s memory.

Nate turned Jake’s old bedroom into a cheerful, organized office for the entire family. The new space is inviting. Calming blue walls, one of which is covered in cork with family photographs and mementos from the past, but room for the future picture perfect moments.

Nate and Peter pulled out all the stops for a memory chest using a beautiful armoire from “Remember when we gathered everything that you wanted to keep into the memory chest pile?” Peter says. “It’s important to understand that those things that you wanted to keep can be stored anywhere as long as they’re stored with honor and respect. And in the case of the room, the armoire’s the perfect place for that.”

On the other side of the room is a matching armoire to organize office supplies. “There are two cabinets, one’s past, one’s present and future,” Nate says.

The family loves the tribute and says they are glad the room is no longer a shrine. “It’s more of a healthy room….it’s not stuck in 2001. Now it’s 2007 and forward.”

Random Linkage

It’s been a week in the garden. Busy moving, proving my identity, and dealing with rigid rule enforcers.

We are customer service connoisseurs and when the service is lacking we’re all over it. Had several instances this week, but the prize goes to the Storage Nazi.

Storage Nazi and her spouse are two vile robots that run a large complex and I’m sure they have their trials. They spew the RULES “CUZ THEY DON’T WANT ANYTHANG TORE UP!” Their rudeness is appalling and embarrassing. Most times, I try to be respectful and hold my tongue, but earlier this week they tested my patience.

Let’s move on.

Last week we wrote about customers that want to be buried with their pets. Today, we spoke to a lady who was putting her pup down and wanted her pet to be interred with her. She bought one of Terry Bloodworth’s beautiful blown glass pet urns.

Wow, Alex McIlveen really is my hero, not only did he kick a jihadi in the balls, his good name drove a lot of traffic to this blog! Who knew?

And speaking of jihad, In Repose had an interesting post on the Flight 93 memorial design proposal.

I’ve had my head in the sand lately, and haven’t been following the news, elevated fear and loathing factor every time I turn it on.

Speaking of sand and RULES, I found this interesting post on Secret Dubai Diary regarding freedom of speech.

America is indeed the land of the free: free (or practically free) communications. The sweet ease of being able to access Skype.com and videochat with friends and family overseas without having hordes of angry TRA officials banging on ones window waving camel whips.

The sheer delight of being able to make a two minute international phone call that don’t cost more than a labourer’s annual pay packet.

And the general joy of being able to access any website at any time at a speed light years faster than a lame carrier pigeon ferrying 1s and 0s back and forth from ones computer to Etishite.

So while America may have a president so unpopular that one can currently buy a calendar in Borders to count the days until he leaves office, at least people have the freedom to express their loathing and the communications to convey it.

Whereas in the sandlands, according to the UAE Publications Law Chapter 7 Article 76, it is actually forbidden to “blemish” the president of any “friendly state”. Which means that as the US is a UAE ally, we may only express loving praise for George W Bush and the wonderful progress he has made in Iraq and for world security in general.

So perhaps it really is the United American Emirates after all.

Another story of interest is the execution of China’s Head of Food and Drug Administration.

Dozens of people have died in China because of poor quality or fake food and drugs, sparking widespread international fears about the safety of Chinese exports.

Thirteen babies died of malnutrition in 2005 after being fed powdered milk that had no nutritional value.

US inspectors have blamed exported Chinese pet food ingredients, contaminated with melamine, for the deaths of cats and dogs in North America.

And they recently halted shipments of toothpaste from China to investigate reports that they may be contaminated with toxic chemicals.

Cardboard bun anyone?

Bolt From the Blue- Stronger Hotter and Lasts Longer

With no rain or even clouds to warn him of the danger, death came literally out of the blue Thursday to a self-employed landscaper. The killer was a powerful bolt of lightning that cracked through perfectly clear skies.

David Canales, 41, of West Miami-Dade, was on the job at a Pinecrest home when the bolt hit. It first seared a tree, then traveled and struck Canales, standing nearby.

The fair-weather bolts pack a bigger, deadlier punch and form differently.

Most lightning bolts carry a negative charge, but ”bolts from the blue” have a positive charge, carry as much as 10 times the current, are hotter and last longer.

Beautiful day, bad luck.

Source: Miami Herald