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Charter Members of the Widow’s Club

October 1, 2008 urngarden.com

Urn Garden was inspired by the women in my life that have been left behind, by their husbands and partners. My grandmother, Etta Mae was the first founding member. She’s the developer of the memorial garden concept that inspired this project. Etta lost Gene in 1995 to cancer after 50 plus years of marriage. A lot of history there, plus four kids. A year later, she lost her first born son. And now in her 80’s, she still rocks my world.

And then my girls: Three girlfriends- all widows before age 35. Within a two year period. All with young kids.

Donna was the first. She lived in an isolated area on 600 acres in Cherokee Nation, with her hub, two kids, goats, donkeys, five dogs, and few cats. Her husband, Jeff was killed in a car accident in 1996.

In 1997, my old roommate Jan (who’s BFF with Donna) was in the process of ending her marriage after 10 years and two little girls. It was rocky, and her husband wasn’t going quietly, he’d been stalking Jan and calling me at work trying to make sense of it all. On a Wednesday afternoon he called my office, clearly distraught, I knew I’d have to tell him that these therapy sessions were over. As the weekend neared, Jan was a little wary because she hadn’t heard from him and it was his weekend to have the girls. On Saturday morning, she journeyed to his place with kids in tow, and knew driving over, this would not be a good scene.

His car was there, but no signs of activity. She left the kids in the car and went inside. The house was dark and quiet. He was asleep on the bed. With a bullet in his head.

In 1998, Susan joined this sad club. She was left with a three year old son and no family in the area. Her talented artist husband shot himself at the end of December. JP was the one that dropped the bomb. He had to tell me three times, because I couldn’t grasp the message. I’m surprised he didn’t slap my face to snap me out of it. Not a Happy New Year.

Happily, with the exception of Etta, the girls have moved on, re-married and re-built their lives. None of these ladies have blogs, websites, or a crippling internet addiction. But because of that connection, we’ll use this space to introduce you to a few recent members of the club that no one wants to join.

Filed Under: Confessions, memorial garden, mental health, obituaries Tagged With: widows club

MeMaw’s Pain Train

October 1, 2008 urngarden.com

On behalf of Jewish grandmas everywhere: Happy Rosh Hashanah
On behalf of Jewish grandmas everywhere: Happy Rosh Hashanah!

Via

Filed Under: Confessions, mental health Tagged With: Guilty Grandmas, Happy Valentines Day, Rosh Hashanah, Valentine's Day Cards

Tinker the Rich Puss

October 1, 2008 urngarden.com

Tinker, one rich cat
Tinker, one rich cat

After befriending an elderly widow, Margaret Layne, who died in 2003 aged 89, Tinker the stray, then eight, ensured he would never want for cat biscuits or chocolate drops again.

Under the terms of her will, Layne stipulated that the black cat would have the run of her three bedroom house in Harrow, Middlesex, as well as a £100,000 ($182,000 US) trust fund, with trustees appointed to deliver him food and milk daily.

The house will remain open to Tinker for 21 years, or until he dies, whichever comes sooner, after which it passes to the trustees charged with his care.

As Tinker soon discovered though, being rich is not without its perils: just months after his owner died, Tinker was moved to a safe house in mid-Wales after a series of death threats and calls from people jealous of his money.

Virgin Media

Filed Under: mental health, obituaries, Pets Tagged With: Margaret Layne fortune, rich cat, Tinker the cat

Rich Chimp

September 30, 2008 urngarden.com

KALU THE CHIMP & Patricia ONeill
KALU THE CHIMP & Patricia O'Neill

It is the duty of every rich and elderly lady to change her will from time to time, if only to keep her family on their toes.

But pity poor Frank O’Neill. The former Australian swimming champion made a pilgrimage to the Sydney Olympics a few years ago – and while he was away his wife decided to leave her £40million (73 + million US) fortune to her pet chimp, Kalu.

Patricia O’Neill, the daughter of the Countess of Kenmore, had been close to Kalu since finding her tied to a tree outside the home of the Argentinian Consul-General in war-torn Zaire.

She took the chimp back to her estate near Cape Town in South Africa and although the animal initially seemed “terrified and traumatised,” she soon settled in.

Whether or not the chimp was aware she and Mr O’Neill were rivals is unclear.

“Every time I swam in the pool, she used to run up and down and hit me on the head, but we had a great relationship,” said a sporting Mr O’Neill. Kalu also stole his cigarettes and drank his beer.

Via Virgin Media

Filed Under: mental health, obituaries, Pets Tagged With: Kalu, Patricia O'Neill, rich pets

Natural Prozac

September 29, 2008 urngarden.com

This past weekend I prepared some of the plants to come inside, repotted, de-bugged, and usually I have some of my best ideas while digging in the dirt, this time it felt like a chore. However, I was reminded of the calming effect that my little oasis has had on the family.

We’re lucky enough to have a small patio and green space that combined with a few potted plants and flowers, is transformed into a lovely garden. One of my social experiments this summer was to lead my man out the door when he was stressed and sit in this space. Very effective, a calming effect takes over.

Simple low maintenance plants were chosen, because…hey, I’m busy. You don’t need a large space to create a secret garden.

Filed Under: Confessions, mental health Tagged With: benefits of flowers, gardening

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