Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

funeral homes

Cheryl Thompson Morrow Pt. 2

More with Cheryl Thompson-Morrow of Thompson Funeral Home, Broadman, OH.

20 Years Later: “It’s been a good career choice, the initial transition was difficult, because many of the families insisted on working with my father, and weren’t accustomed to a female funeral director.

On Technology: “Technology has really freed our time up, in that in the old days, before we could forward calls, my dad would stay home all weekend to catch the phone.”

Cheryl is uncomfortable with casket retailing on the internet, and would like to educate her clients regarding funeral costs and the value of a funeral service. “I want to do more with our website, add educational content and market our services.”

On Cremation: “You know, when I started working at the funeral home, my dad had one urn, and it was in a dusty box. Unopened.” Despite being in a pretty traditional area, cremation is definitely on an upswing. “March’s services were all cremation.” Most of Thompson’s cremation families choose traditional viewing with casket rental at the funeral home. Cheryl usually discourages the scattering of ashes until a later date, to make sure the family is comfortable with the decision. It’s pretty mixed on families that choose burial, or to take the ashes home.

On Changes in the Industry: “Besides cremation, families are buying more keepsakes, and there’s more interest in pets.” It used to be that the funeral homes in our area were denomination specific, there’s more cross-over now. Besides more women in the funeral profession, I see a lot more women in the clergy. The other day, I realized that we were doing a service with a female funeral director, and two female funeral clergy…there was a time, that was unheard of!”

“We haven’t had a lot of requests for catering services or food.” Although, she did have a family from California that wanted to bring “snacks” in before the visitation, and wound up setting up a full buffet and bar. It was no problem she said, but the family took care of everything.

Cheryl sees funeral service as a life long career and says, “I’ll probably work until I die.” “My dad never got to retire, and in the my pre-kid days, I was at the funeral home ALL the time, even coming in on weekends I didn’t have to work, just to make sure everything was alright.” Cheryl and another funeral director trade weekends on call.

“Now, I realize life is too short! We have a cottage at the lake that’s only an hour away and I want to spend time with the kids, while they still want to!” Cheryl has two children, 11 and 12.

Women in Funeral Service, Cheryl Thompson-Morrow

cheryl thompson-morrow

Today’s Female Funeral Professional (known from here on out as FFP, you try saying that three times real fast!) spotlight is on Cheryl Thompson-Morrow with Thompson Funeral Home. Thompson Funeral Home is one of five other funeral homes in a two mile area in Boardman, OH., close to Youngstown.

Cheryl’s grandfather Clifford L. Thompson, started the firm in 1932. Cheryl hadn’t really considered entering the family business and her father, Clifford L. Thompson, Jr., who worked at the funeral home didn’t exactly encourage it. Why? Because it was a man’s world. But as Cliff Jr.’s health began to deteriorate, and when it became clear that his son would choose a different career path, Cheryl’s dad did notice that more women were entering the field of funeral service and maybe Cheryl, who was taking classes in the medical field, might be his future.

He told her that if she planned to go to mortuary school, she’d better get on it. This was the 80’s and Cheryl was trying to figure out what she was going to do with her life. She was working as a medical assistant and funeral service seemed like a good fit with her background, so she went to mortuary school, not realizing that within a few short years, she’d be running the business. In 1989, Cheryl graduated from the Pittsburgh Institute of Mortuary Science, and did her internship with her dad, a “difficult transition”, for the young girl and her father who was handing over a Life’s Work to his…daughter.

“That was tough”, she said. “He continued to work at the funeral home, even in declining health, he was there everyday.”

And then, one day, he said the magic words, “Whatever you think, Cheryl.” The turning point. He died shortly after at age 60 in 1997.

Next: Part Two with Cheryl Thompson-Morrow.

Act Now

vintage postcard

Tim had an interesting post on Final Embrace regarding internet shoppers and how they’ve affected the funeral industry. The internet has made a dent in the funeral director’s world. But the funeral director needs to look in the mirror.

Cue up Cher, “If I Could Turn Back Time”. On the local scene I’ve interviewed funeral directors that left me shaking my head. Several years ago, we (me, myself and I) surveyed the local market to determine what the cremation landscape was like. The numbers reflected growth, but were low compared to other parts of the country.

Frankly, what I saw was a market not being properly served. Insert disclaimer here: “We do not actively pursue sales in the state of Missouri.”

I was looking at the big picture, reading the trades, looking at the projections. I knew that the growth was there.

So the conversation on the local scene was a surprise, when these middle aged men admitted that:

  1. Cremation was growing
  2. Cremation families usually didn’t purchase an urn
  3. Many of their cremation clients HAVE money and choose not to spend it at the funeral home.

While discussing sales numbers with an experienced gentleman who retired from the highest volume operation in SW MO, he was surprised at the number of urns I sold per month. Waaaay more then he imagined.

Another operator who morally despises cremation, admits that cremation is now 30% of his business, and continues to climb said, “If I was 20 years younger, I’d do things a lot different.”

Right. What are you doing today?

And the real kicker? The one that still makes me smile: “Buying an urn on the internet is undignified.”

Why? Is it because I’m not wearing a suit while I run the client’s credit card?

Some funeral directors have told me they have “exclusive” arrangements with their vendors and only carry what said vendor doles out. This usually comes from the director that just said the families aren’t buying an urn.

I understand about relationships with your vendors and I’m all about the service. But if the product is not working for you or your families… then maybe it’s time to look at options that DO serve your interests. I have years of experience dealing with sales weasels representatives and trust me, if you are a good customer, your “friend” will do what is necessary to keep your business.

Most of my clients are Boomers and X’rs. Most know what they want, many have been to the funeral home and didn’t find what they were looking for. And some, well, I’m doing the funeral directors a favor by shielding them from the frustration of the family that googles “cheap urn”.

Note to self: Add category for cheap urns.

As a consumer, I don’t want to spend a great deal for funeral goods. Most people I know feel the same way. Certain members of my family prefer burial and that wish will be honored with services likely to be held at the funeral home. Personally, I like one stop shopping. I don’t see myself shopping online for a casket. But if $5000 is the national average for a burial, it’s still more than I want to spend.

Today’s Thought for the Day: Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

Dali Lama

Stop The Clock!

Greetings!

Urngarden is a career change for us, and was started after some sad events in our life, we sensed the changes that were happening in the industry (yes, death is an industry) and felt like we could offer families and funeral homes an alternative. Families have embraced the opportunity, funeral homes are another story.

There is a lot of angst within the funeral home world. The public has dictated that they don’t ALWAYS want the traditional casket/viewing/burial service. Funeral directors are feeling the squeeze. Not only from the public but the vendors they do business with. There are too many funeral homes for the death rate.

The Chinese are mastering the Western style of casket manufacturing and this frustrates the vendors. The quality is good and the prices are fantastic. That translates to jobs for the American manufacturers. Locally, a casket manufacturer closed their plant to “consolidate operations”. Meaning: move production to Mexico.

Recently, we spoke with a family who’s mother died suddenly. She had several children and the kids were aware of mother’s wishes to be cremated. One son held out for burial, the funeral home seized upon HIS wish and $10,000 later (without a marker) this family is struggling to pay the bill. Sometime ago, I met with the funeral director that handled the arrangements and we talked about the impact of cremation on his business. He was bitter about the trend and referred to it as “body disposal”. Morally, he feels cremation is wrong but says he’ll honor the families he serves. Hmmmmm.

Regarding morals and serving your customers I found this article of interest on the issues a Target in Minnesota is having with some of their cashiers.
More later…..

More death and burial folklore from Vance Randolph:

When a death finally occurs, one of the bereaved neighbors rises immediately and stops the clock. Everybody knows that if the clock should happen to stop of itself while a corpse is lying in the house, another member of the family would die within a year, and it’s best not to take no chances.

The next thing to do is cover every mirror in the house with white cloths, which are not removed until after the funeral. This is done out of consideration for those who may come in to view the body, for it one of them should glimpse his own reflection in the house of death, it is believed that he will never live to see another summer.

In some houses, immediately after a death occurs, the chairs are all turned up so that nobody can sit in them, and people who come into the presence of the dead are forced to stand. Randolph could never find the source of this belief and was told by one old-timer that “it is a new-fangled custom, brought into the country by some outlanders about 1880.”

“When a hillman dies all his bedding and articles of clothing are immediately hung on a line outdoors. People coming far down the road see this and know that the patient is dead. In predicting a sick man’s demise, I have heard people say “Poor Jim’s britches will be a-hangin’ out most any day now!”

“The hillfolk have a veritable mania for washing dead bodies; the moment a death occurs the neighbors strip the corpse and begin to scrub it vigorously. A man man be dirty all his life, and in his last illness his body and bedding may be so foul that one can harley stay in the cabin, but he goes to his grave clean. All of the work connected with a death- washing and dressing the body, is done by friends and neighbors. Not one of the near relatives of the deceased will have any part in these doings, except in the direst necessity.”

Today’s tip: Perfect your yodel.