Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

Memorial Service Ideas

Protector of the Gold

griffin

Today a family called looking for an urn with the image of a griffin. I love the idea of this ancient symbol of protection on a cremation urn.

We’ve got a couple of griffins out in the garden. The legendary Griffin symbol is a fascinating creature with the body of a lion and the head and wings of an eagle. Variations of ancient lore say the griffin builds a nest, like an eagle (female?) and lays sapphires instead of eggs, and protects the gold. The feather of a griffin and the talon both are supposed to have medicinal properties so powerful that it can even restore sight to the blind!

The deceased collected griffins and even had a gryphon on his wedding ring. His ashes will be divided, and will be buried with a grandson and some of the family pets who passed earlier, including the ashes of the beloved Yorkie. The “baby”. The widow carries a bit of “baby Yorkie” in a small keepsake urn on her key chain.

At the memorial service the family incorporated griffin sculpture, statues, and relics among the family photo display.

griffin urn for ashes

Ceremony for Scattering Ashes

Today we’ll look at memorial ceremonies for scattering ashes.

The best advice on most of these methods is KEEP IT LOW and check the wind, unless you want a face full…

More information and resources on cremation memorials for spreading ashes can be found on our site.

Scattering Methods

* Casting: is the act of simply tossing the ashes to the wind. Usually done by one individual while others look on. Care and consideration of others should be used when casting. Check the direction of the wind and cast down wind. The ashes are mostly made up of a dense sand like matter and will quickly fall to the ground but some of it will be a fine powder and this will become airborne forming a whitish gray cloud. Casting can also be done as a group. People can take turns doing a partial scattering one at a time. I have also seen group scattering where multiple people scattered simultaneously in a toast-like gesture using paper cups.

* Trenching: This is done on land when a shallow trench or groove is dug in the soil. A hoe works well. Then the trench is filled from the scattering urn and usually racked over at the conclusion of the ceremony. You can get creative and dig the persons name in the soil, maybe inside a heart, then fill the void with the ashes. If its not too windy, candles can go in the ground alongside the trench for a more spiritual feel. Imagine filling a trenched name in beach sand and having the group form a ring around it. You can place and time it right so the tide will come up and wash the remains back to the sea while you all wade in the surf and share memories.

* Ringing: This is when we form a ring on the ground around an object or even a group of objects, it can be with or without a trench. The scattering urn will need to be held close to the ground when pouring the ring. Some ideas include a ring around a favorite tree or shrub. How about a ring around a group of candles or a memory table? The survivors can be the outer ring and take turns entering the ring to share words of remembrance.

* Raking: The ashes are poured from the scattering urn evenly on loose soil and raked into the ground, at the conclusion of the scattering ceremony. This is often how it is done in the scattering gardens that are now located in many cemeteries. Your funeral director can help you find a scattering garden in your area.

* Green Burial: A hole is made in the soil and the ashes can either be poured in or a biodegradable scattering urn can be placed in and covered. Many cemeteries will let you scatter on the grave site as long as the remains are buried. If the cemetery requires an urn, the biodegradable style is often permitted. Multiple scatterings or green burial can be done on one grave even if a casket has been buried the ashes can go on top. As with any scattering it is important to establish a permanent memorial so survivors have a place to continue remember and heal in the years to come.

* Water scattering: When scattering over a body of water a water-soluble urn can enhance the experience. These urns are specifically designed to gradually disperse the ashes back to the sea. Ashes can be cast directly into the water, but will often blow back at the boat and cling to the sides of the boat. This can be both frustrating and unsightly. A water-soluble urn will usually float for several minutes then slowly sink where it will degrade or melt back to the sea. The survivors will often toss flowers or petals as a final tribute as the urn slowly drifts away. There are professionals with boats available that will do either private water scatterings or create an event were the survivors may voyage and participate. Your funeral director will usually have the contacts to set this up in your area or you may find a provider on the resources section of this website.

* Aerial scattering: Usually done by professionals, this is done when the ashes are cast from a private plane.  Some pilots will coordinate with your ceremony to fly over and cast the ashes at a specified place and time. On clear days a cloud of ash can be seen from the ground. Most professionals will provide a certificate of the place and time and even photos. Some will allow passengers to attend the scattering for an extra fee.

Dispersing of cremated remains comes with a variety of regulations that vary by location, and typically requires a permit from the local health department as well as permission from the location where you are planning on scattering the ashes.  Scattering cremated remains, like any other method of saying your final good-byes, is emotionally very difficult. This is a good time to ask other family members or friends if keepsake portions need to be retained for those that may want a small portion.

By being knowledgeable about the available options makes the process a little easier, and establishing a permanent memorial for survivors to pay tribute to the departed often helps in the mourning process, and enables people a place to heal and remember their loved one for years to come.

Today’s tips on methods of  scattering or spreading ashes is courtesy of our friends at Cremation Solutions.

More information on planning a memorial service or ceremony for spreading ashes:

cremation memorial

Related Posts:

Scattering Ashes

Spreading Ashes At Sea

Dust in the Wind

Spreading Ashes Over Water

Cast Away

As cremation has overtaken burial in California — about 52 percent of the dead are cremated, according to the National Funeral Directors Association — scatterings of remains have become a daily occurrence. Without anybody really noticing, San Francisco Bay has become an enormous burial ground.

Scatterings are done from boats, cliffs and the Golden Gate Bridge. Cemetery owner Buck Kamphausen said it is not unusual to see remains scattered off the back of ferries. He has found urns bobbing in the water. “We’ve done it at night, in the fog, in the rain. You have to say that if there is something spiritual about it, this is one of the most beautiful places in the world to have it done.”

Cremation does not appeal to everybody.

Mark Matthews, vice president of the Association of California Cremationists, said that for a variety of cultural reasons, Latinos and African Americans are less likely to cremate than other Californians. And he said higher-income people are more likely to cremate than people with less money. Several religions, including Judaism and Mormonism, frown on cremation. Islam forbids it.

“There are a lot of people that have died and are in the Bay,” said Curtis Brown, captain and operator of the Orca III, “Over the recent years, I’m sure there have been more people scattered in the water than buried in the Bay Area. I go out near the ocean, so ultimately the ashes can be scattered on the tides throughout the world. It’s kind of a liberating, freeing thing.”

Ashes dispersed off the Orca III in San Fransisco Bay, Angel Island in the background.

Today’s tip for better living: Perfect your swimming stroke.

Flying Free and Feather Crowns

Surreal seems to be where death services are going, even if only a small percentage make it into the extreme zone. “Some things done at memorial services or celebrations of life would absolutely mortify some traditional types of people,” says Janet Riscuitti, director at Funeral Services Association of British Columbia. “There are no rules any more. A meaningful ceremony might be held on a beach and everyone will bring their surfboards.”

There are no rules…and that’s why the funeral directors are challenged.

Example: Ed Headrick’s memorial service was unorthodox, for one thing, he wasn’t even dead. The service took place at Headrick’s bedside in California in 2002, where he lay dying at the age of 78. After his death, Headrick, who invented the Frisbee, was cremated and the cremated remains mixed into 2,000 Frisbees that can be purchased online for $210 US.

That raises questions ranging from the mundane to the mysterious.

If the funeral is without tradition, what are the guests to do? Do they wear black or Hawaiian print? Then there are the big questions. Is a funeral or memorial only for the living? Lynn Greenhough, who serves on Synagogue Emanu-El’s burial society (the Chevra Kadisha), says society now looks on these services as a psychological exercise for the grieving survivors, but this was not always so. When it comes to ancient burial services, Greenhough says, “All these rituals were understood to be helping the soul of the deceased.” Culling tradition from funeral services is symbolic of modern society’s denial of death, suggests Greenhough, adding, “It is … a denial of any possibility of a realm beyond this form. None of us are getting out of this alive. That makes everyone uneasy.”

A local funeral director told me that the fastest growing religion here in the bible belt, specifically SW MO is…..NO Religion.

We’ll close with a serious backwoods superstition that is both heavenly or the work of SATAN. From Vance Randolph’s book on Ozark Superstitions.

Hillbilly Hairball, a prized treasure and very serious business: To find a feather crown or “angel wreath” in the goose down pillow of the dead.

Most hill folk considered the presence of a feather crown in the pillow good fortune and the dear departed had gone straight to heaven. It was especially fortunate to find a perfectly formed crown in the pillow of a “less than deserving” individual, indicating that sins had been absolved and the deceased had a fast pass to the pearly gates.

When the bereaved family finds one of the feather crowns in the pillow of the deceased, the crown is removed from the pillow with great care and displayed to all the neighbors; sometimes there is a mention of it in the village paper, as a sort of postscript to the obituary.

One lady from Little Rock, AR left instructions to be buried with her late husband’s crown in her bosom, he had died 30 years prior, but she kept the feather crown in a box at her bedside.

On the dark side some people considered the feather crowns evil omens, produced by witches which should be instantly thrown in the fire when found.

Vance Randolph refers to another Little Rock resident who examined her pillows every month for suspicious lumps. Her husband was a politician with many enemies and feared witchcraft being employed against the family. The belief was the crowns grow slowly and the whole evil business could be stopped by searching and burning. If a feather crown was allowed to grow to completion, the person who sleeps on that pillow will DIE immediately.

feather crown folklore

Gloria M., Duck River, Tennessee “These are from my mothers 2 sisters that died at the ages of 7 and 10. These are over 100 years old. My grandmother used to tell me that the presence of these in a feather pillow meant that they went to Heaven. They have never came loose and still feel firm after a century.”