Life in the Garden

Matters of Life and Death

Vance Randolph

Flying Free and Feather Crowns

Surreal seems to be where death services are going, even if only a small percentage make it into the extreme zone. “Some things done at memorial services or celebrations of life would absolutely mortify some traditional types of people,” says Janet Riscuitti, director at Funeral Services Association of British Columbia. “There are no rules any more. A meaningful ceremony might be held on a beach and everyone will bring their surfboards.”

There are no rules…and that’s why the funeral directors are challenged.

Example: Ed Headrick’s memorial service was unorthodox, for one thing, he wasn’t even dead. The service took place at Headrick’s bedside in California in 2002, where he lay dying at the age of 78. After his death, Headrick, who invented the Frisbee, was cremated and the cremated remains mixed into 2,000 Frisbees that can be purchased online for $210 US.

That raises questions ranging from the mundane to the mysterious.

If the funeral is without tradition, what are the guests to do? Do they wear black or Hawaiian print? Then there are the big questions. Is a funeral or memorial only for the living? Lynn Greenhough, who serves on Synagogue Emanu-El’s burial society (the Chevra Kadisha), says society now looks on these services as a psychological exercise for the grieving survivors, but this was not always so. When it comes to ancient burial services, Greenhough says, “All these rituals were understood to be helping the soul of the deceased.” Culling tradition from funeral services is symbolic of modern society’s denial of death, suggests Greenhough, adding, “It is … a denial of any possibility of a realm beyond this form. None of us are getting out of this alive. That makes everyone uneasy.”

A local funeral director told me that the fastest growing religion here in the bible belt, specifically SW MO is…..NO Religion.

We’ll close with a serious backwoods superstition that is both heavenly or the work of SATAN. From Vance Randolph’s book on Ozark Superstitions.

Hillbilly Hairball, a prized treasure and very serious business: To find a feather crown or “angel wreath” in the goose down pillow of the dead.

Most hill folk considered the presence of a feather crown in the pillow good fortune and the dear departed had gone straight to heaven. It was especially fortunate to find a perfectly formed crown in the pillow of a “less than deserving” individual, indicating that sins had been absolved and the deceased had a fast pass to the pearly gates.

When the bereaved family finds one of the feather crowns in the pillow of the deceased, the crown is removed from the pillow with great care and displayed to all the neighbors; sometimes there is a mention of it in the village paper, as a sort of postscript to the obituary.

One lady from Little Rock, AR left instructions to be buried with her late husband’s crown in her bosom, he had died 30 years prior, but she kept the feather crown in a box at her bedside.

On the dark side some people considered the feather crowns evil omens, produced by witches which should be instantly thrown in the fire when found.

Vance Randolph refers to another Little Rock resident who examined her pillows every month for suspicious lumps. Her husband was a politician with many enemies and feared witchcraft being employed against the family. The belief was the crowns grow slowly and the whole evil business could be stopped by searching and burning. If a feather crown was allowed to grow to completion, the person who sleeps on that pillow will DIE immediately.

feather crown folklore

Gloria M., Duck River, Tennessee “These are from my mothers 2 sisters that died at the ages of 7 and 10. These are over 100 years old. My grandmother used to tell me that the presence of these in a feather pillow meant that they went to Heaven. They have never came loose and still feel firm after a century.”

 

Stop The Clock!

Greetings!

Urngarden is a career change for us, and was started after some sad events in our life, we sensed the changes that were happening in the industry (yes, death is an industry) and felt like we could offer families and funeral homes an alternative. Families have embraced the opportunity, funeral homes are another story.

There is a lot of angst within the funeral home world. The public has dictated that they don’t ALWAYS want the traditional casket/viewing/burial service. Funeral directors are feeling the squeeze. Not only from the public but the vendors they do business with. There are too many funeral homes for the death rate.

The Chinese are mastering the Western style of casket manufacturing and this frustrates the vendors. The quality is good and the prices are fantastic. That translates to jobs for the American manufacturers. Locally, a casket manufacturer closed their plant to “consolidate operations”. Meaning: move production to Mexico.

Recently, we spoke with a family who’s mother died suddenly. She had several children and the kids were aware of mother’s wishes to be cremated. One son held out for burial, the funeral home seized upon HIS wish and $10,000 later (without a marker) this family is struggling to pay the bill. Sometime ago, I met with the funeral director that handled the arrangements and we talked about the impact of cremation on his business. He was bitter about the trend and referred to it as “body disposal”. Morally, he feels cremation is wrong but says he’ll honor the families he serves. Hmmmmm.

Regarding morals and serving your customers I found this article of interest on the issues a Target in Minnesota is having with some of their cashiers.
More later…..

More death and burial folklore from Vance Randolph:

When a death finally occurs, one of the bereaved neighbors rises immediately and stops the clock. Everybody knows that if the clock should happen to stop of itself while a corpse is lying in the house, another member of the family would die within a year, and it’s best not to take no chances.

The next thing to do is cover every mirror in the house with white cloths, which are not removed until after the funeral. This is done out of consideration for those who may come in to view the body, for it one of them should glimpse his own reflection in the house of death, it is believed that he will never live to see another summer.

In some houses, immediately after a death occurs, the chairs are all turned up so that nobody can sit in them, and people who come into the presence of the dead are forced to stand. Randolph could never find the source of this belief and was told by one old-timer that “it is a new-fangled custom, brought into the country by some outlanders about 1880.”

“When a hillman dies all his bedding and articles of clothing are immediately hung on a line outdoors. People coming far down the road see this and know that the patient is dead. In predicting a sick man’s demise, I have heard people say “Poor Jim’s britches will be a-hangin’ out most any day now!”

“The hillfolk have a veritable mania for washing dead bodies; the moment a death occurs the neighbors strip the corpse and begin to scrub it vigorously. A man man be dirty all his life, and in his last illness his body and bedding may be so foul that one can harley stay in the cabin, but he goes to his grave clean. All of the work connected with a death- washing and dressing the body, is done by friends and neighbors. Not one of the near relatives of the deceased will have any part in these doings, except in the direst necessity.”

Today’s tip: Perfect your yodel.

What’s That Smell?

Greetings!

Free in the garden today! Excellent color and a hot cup of coffee!

I can see why ancient cultures worshiped the sun!

Speaking of inspirations and connections, we re-connected with a favorite teacher/guru last week who is always good for the mind, body, and spirit and wondered why we had drifted away. Well, time to get back on track….and breathe!

More folklore from the late Vance Randolph:

“When a sick man wants to know his true condition, he touches a bit of bread to his lips and throws it to a dog; if the dog won’t eat it, the man knows that he has a very short time to live.” Perhaps this is ancient wisdom, since modern studies indicate that dogs have the ability to detect terminal illnesses.

“If cocks crow, dogs howl or foxes bark unexpectedly near a sick room, the patient may die at any moment.”

“When a dog under the cabin, or on the front porch, howls four times and then stops, it is said that there will be a death in the house very soon. If a cat licks the door it is a sure sign that somebody in the house will die shortly. It’s a bad sign for a rooster to crow in the doorway, or crows seven times in front of the door without turning around, it mean that someone in the family is going to die soon, whether any of them are sick now or not.”

“A crowing hen will excite any group of backwoods people; I have seen a man spring up and fire his revolver wildly into a flock of chickens, killing several. Some people do not hesitate to eat a crowing hen, but this man would not allow one to be cooked in his house. “Throw it to the hogs, and if they won’t eat the damn thing, we’ll sell it to the tourists!”

“Whippoorwills seldom alight on buildings, but if one does come to rest on the roof of a house and gives it’s characteristic call, there will be a death in the neighborhood within 24 hours.” Same with any sort of bird rapping on a windowpane.

A bat in the cabin is even worse than a songbird, but a screech owl is worst of all. One cry from this bird, even if it is only in the dog run and not in the house proper, will upset almost any backwoods family. Mother will jump instantly to throw salt on the fire and children begin to tie knots in a string. Throwing a handful of salt or feathers on the fire will usually silence a screech owl outside the cabin, the smell seems to settle the bird. If there happens to be a sick man in the place, every effort is made to kill the owl, so that it’s body may be laid warm and bleeding on the patient’s chest.

Today’s Tip: Experience restorative yoga.

Connections to the Past and Hillbilly Death Customs

Massaged a particularly tight bed today, it hadn’t been turned in a long time, tore it up and had a brilliant idea. Will work on the redesign. My elbows hurt, lots of rocks and clay.

Just when I start to doubt myself and question the path I’m on, we have a breakthrough!

In the mailbox: “Please help me. Joan Fonfa is an old friend with whom I have lost touch. I knew Larue as a pup and all of Joan’s other dogs, Nigia, Tigera, and LaRue. Please, I google Joan’s name every year or so hoping to find her out there. This is the lst I have found her. Please will you contact me and help me to contact her?”

We assisted Joan last year when her precious LaRue passed, Joan chose the Purple Passion Urn, although she preferred to think of it as LaRue’s Purple Palace! Joan is one of a handful of people I’ve met in the last couple of years that have purchased or built a home based on their pet’s needs.

Anyway, let’s get real….most people don’t visit the Urngarden unless they have to…and Joan called last week regarding another sad matter. The end.

Until this weekend…Joan’s long lost friend Googles her, lands in the Urngarden and I called Joan to give her the contact info. She was surprised and delighted.

Next, we’ll dig up some connections to the past, we discovered an old favorite on the bookshelf “Ozark Magic and Folklore”, by Vance Randolph.

We’ll start with death signs and wood, since many Ozarkers have lots of firewood from the recent ice storm:

“The typical hillman avoids any firewood which pops or crackles too much, in the belief that burning such wood will bring about the death of some member of his family. To burn sassafras wood is supposed to cause the death of one’s mother , and although sassafras makes very fine charcoal, no decent native will burn it, or even haul it the kiln, unless his mother is already dead. There is an old saying that the Devil sits a-straddle of the roof when sassafras pops in the fireplace.”

It is very bad luck to burn peach trees, and dreadful results are almost certain to follow.

The transplanting of cedar trees is a bad business, and the old-timers thought that the transplanter would die as soon as the cedar’s shadow was big enough to cover a grave. A man told me that the curse could be “throwed off” by putting a flat stone in the bottom of the hold where the cedar is planted, but others shook their head at this theory. I know of some boys who hired out to transplant cedars in a nursery, laughing at the old superstition, but their parents were horrified and ordered them to quit the job immediately.

The prejudice against transplanting cedars is known all through the Ozarks and parts of the South. There are people in southwest Missouri who will not under conditions plant a willow. I once asked a hired man to “stick” some willows in a gravel bar, in order to turn the creek the other way and prevent it from cutting into my field. Without mentioning the matter to me, he hired another man to attend to this. “It’s sure death for us folks to fool with willers,” he explained later, “so, I just got one o’them Henson boys. The Hensons is eddicated, an’ they don’t believe nothin'”.

When a big tree dies without any visible cause, it is a sign that a human will die before the year is out, exactly one mile north of the tree. If nobody lives there, it doesn’t matter, the old folks insist that a man, woman, or child will die at the designated spot anyhow.

Tip for today: Google a long lost friend.